When Marriage is a Battlefield

Sometimes marriage feels like a battlefield. We fear, we seek, and we look for the solution. Often times, we look for the answers everywhere except the right place – in God’s word.


Thankfully we aren’t alone in what feels like a battle. In Scripture, Habakkuk was facing great troubles. He was a prophet who was living in the midst of a battle, crying out for help, but frustrated because he didn’t think God was listening.


“O Lord, how long shall I cry, and you will not hear me?” (Habakkuk 1;2 NIV)


What battles have you faced in your marriage or in life when you cried out to God for answers but felt like He didn’t hear you?  


The battles we face in marriage, whether big or small, can be fought with purpose because we have the hope of the promise. 


As daughters of the King, we aren’t promised an easy life or marriage, but we are promised a Fighter that has conquered the grave and overcome death. In every battle, we get to engage the fight with God Himself and watch what only He can do. 


The question is how can we stop feeling overwhelmed by the battles and begin feelings victorious, even when we haven’t experienced the desired ‘win’. How can we see the battles as opportunities to join God and trust Him?


As daughters who are called to live differently than the world, every single battle requires prayer and communication. Even as Habbakuk felt alone, he knew he wasn’t alone, so he continued to cry out to God.  Just like Habbakuk, we can consistently cry out and seek God for solutions and for the energy to fight for our marriage.


We are also challenged to battle with endurance by waiting on His guidance and direction. As we wait for direction, we can communicate honestly and openly with our spouse, we can be willing to compromise with each other, and we can allow God to do His work through those conversations. As daughters, we don’t have to fight for our way or for the battle to be fought our way. We get to trust the plan of the One we fight for, Jesus Himself.


But what about the REALLY big stuff?


When it comes to issues such as infidelity, mistrust, or abuse, how do we fight these battles?  How long are we willing to wait on God for His answer?  And at what point do we just stop crying out in our hopelessness?


These are the times we need to dig deep and really imitate Habakkuk in our prayers. WE CRY OUT!  Cry out, again and again, until you hear God speak to you.  


His answer might be a little different than you expected, because it involves the second part of Habakkuk’s story.




God never turns away our probing questions. He never turns a blind eye to the storms in our marriage. Sometimes God doesn’t act right away, because His ways are higher and His ultimate plan is best..


That is where our faith comes in.  


Knowing that God hears you. 


Knowing that He loves you and your spouse.  


Knowing that He wants to help you mend whatever is broken.  


Knowing that you can fight the battle through Christ who strengthens you.


Knowing that God’s plan is greater than our own.


Ladies, sometimes the battlefield is brutal. Both sides want victory and nobody wants to waive the white flag.  Marriage turns into battle when spouses are uncompromising, lacking in humility, and stubbornly wanting to be ‘right’. When marriage turns into a fight against one another, we get so focused on winning the battle, that we lose something far greater. 


The truth is, your marriage wasn’t designed to be a battlefield. 


The battle in life and in our marriages belongs to the Lord. So does the victory.  So seek Him, cry out to Him, and let Him go to battle for your marriage.  


Only through Him can we conquer our oppositions.  Only He can overcome the enemy that tries to sneak into every aspect of our lives.


Through His love and grace, we can stand united once again, with both of us holding onto the victory flag.

Wife Step: What is an area in your marriage that has felt like a constant battle?  Are you crying out to God in this situation?  Be diligent in your prayers and wait on Him. Let Him guide you to the compromises you could make, and the conversations you can have with your spouse.

Betty Predmore is an author, speaker, blogger, and ministry leader. Betty has experienced broken homes, divorce, abuse, grief, being a single mother, blended families, and adoption.  Betty uses the broken places and movement of God in her own life to share God’s Word in an inspiring way, sprinkled with honesty, humor, and encouragement, and reflecting the love of Jesus to all she meets. 


Betty is the Founding Director of two community faith-based ministries.  Mom-Sense helps women overcome life struggles through small group classes with biblical curriculum, individual counseling, bibles studies, and other areas of support.  The Imperial Valley Coalition for Life is a pro-life organization that values the sanctity of life and encourages women to choose life by offering various means of support throughout pregnancy and infancy.


Betty has published two devotionals:  Pondering Virtue and Whispered Grace. Betty is honored to be a part of the A Wife Like Me contributor team.  She has also contributed to other publications such as Southern Faith Magazine, Purposeful Life, and Aspiring Woman Magazine.  She is also a contributor for several online Christian blogging sites.


Of all her roles in life, Betty is most honored to be wife to Jim and mama to a brood of 7, which includes biological and adopted children.


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