4 Small Things That Make a Big Impact in Marriage - Kristin Milner - A Wife Like Me

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4 Small Things That Make a Big Impact in Marriage – Kristin Milner

September 9, 2020

4 Small Things That Make a Big Impact in Marriage

Do you know that little things add up when making your marriage better? Here’s what I’ve learned that can help you too.

Making an Impact in Marriage


My husband and I married young. We had lots of dreams for our life together, and the energy to pursue them with gusto.


Fast forward a few years, babies and a mortgage entered the picture. Although life was fuller, it also felt weightier. We were exhausted. 


One day, I looked across the room at my husband and things became clear. Although we loved each other and we were happily married, the spark was gone. Sleepless nights from raising small children and stress from our jobs had settled into our marriage. Somehow the joy we previously shared for living life to the fullest together was being sucked from each of us. 


We found ourselves going through the motions in marriage.


Have you felt this before? You’re not alone. Thankfully, God is for us in our marriages. He wants us to continually pursue one another. To have fun together. To share dreams and be passionate about life together.


We don’t have to remain stuck in the motions. Implementing these small actions can add much needed life back into our marriages.  

4 Small Things That Make a Big Impact in Marriage


These four small things have brought life and energy back to our marriage. They are easy gestures we overlooked the importance of. I hope you will find them as life-giving as we have.



1. Smile at your spouse. 


The first year of marriage is full of flirting, googly eyes, hand-holding, and excitement when the other person arrives home after work. These feelings and gestures don’t have to end. Somewhere in the shuffle of daily life, especially in the early parenting years, we get distracted from those small gestures. 


One simple way to add this back into your routine is by smiling at your husband as he enters the room. I’m not a morning person, but I love entering our kitchen in the morning. My husband is always there, smiling at me. This simple gesture helps me start my day in a better mood. Each evening, I try to return the favor as he enters our house after a full day of work.  



2. Let him know you trust him. 


Our husbands are called to be the leaders of the home. I’ve heard it said that leaders do the hard work of clearing the path so others can follow behind with ease. Within our homes, our husbands carry a lot of that weight to lead us well. When they know we trust their lead, they have more room to take risks and dream big things for our family. 


Next time your husband shares a dream he wants to move forward on, simply look him in the eye and tell him you trust him. This doesn’t mean you have to move forward blindly. In fact, I encourage you to ask questions and seek wise counsel before moving forward. Telling him you trust his lead gives him confidence in knowing you are on board with him, and committed to help through the unknowns. 



3. Plan a special date. 



Plans for most of our date nights begin once we buckle our seatbelts and begin backing out of our driveway. With three young children constantly talking and running around the house, thinking can seem like a chore. Thinking through plans for a fun date night can almost seem impossible. 


For this reason, it’s important to schedule time by yourself with the intention of planning a date night your husband will love. When one spouse plans a special date night, it makes the other spouse feel appreciated and cared for. These feelings cultivate security amongst each other, and confidence within the marriage.



4. Tell him often how much you believe in him. 



Several years ago, my husband wanted to move across the country to start a church in his hometown. I was horrified. We had deep roots and loved our community where we lived. I shared my true feelings. Although I felt called to this as well, it was still scary. I also made sure he knew I trusted him. No matter what happened, I was fully on board. He needed the assurance I was his number one fan.


I truly believed if anyone could accomplish what he was feeling called to, it was him. As often as I could, I let him know I believed in him. 


Strong marriages aren’t built overnight. They are a result of small investments over the years. These small things have proven to have a big impact in growing and strengthening on our marriage. I hope you find them helpful as well!

Wife Step: Choose one small gesture you can do today for your husband to make a big impact in your marriage over time.

Kristin is the pastor wife to her hubby and best friend, Tim. Together they have three beautiful girls, and an unusually gorgeous cat named Scooter. Kristin helped start Essential Church in Huntsville, Al, where her husband is the lead pastor. She loves to encourage women with Biblical truth and funny stories at www.kristinmilner.com.


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