When You’re Carrying A Heavy Load - Kristin Milner - A Wife Like Me

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When You’re Carrying A Heavy Load – Kristin Milner

August 24, 2020

When You’re Carrying A Heavy Load

As I was in labor with our second daughter, my husband received a phone call he had been anticipating for almost a year. The news was exactly what we had been hoping for, and certainly worth celebrating. However, it also meant my husband was about to enter a very busy and stressful season with his work.


My husband was given a rare opportunity to play a key role in something very special. Though very exciting, this also meant sacrifice on my part regarding life at home. I was about to be thrown into parenting a newborn and a two-year-old with limited help for almost a year. I wanted to celebrate this news instead of viewing it as a source of resentment, but I didn’t know how.


This season was very difficult. However, many great lessons were learned in that hard season. Below are five lessons I’ve used to lighten my load when the load in this season felt heavy.


Ask for Help. 


It might seem like a burden to reach out and ask for help, but friends and family are often more than happy to help. Make a list of things you feel would be helpful. Reach out and ask people if they can help with anything on your list. Items might include laundry, helping you make several meals you can freeze for later, or picking up some things from the store. 


Simplify Your Routine 


We can’t do it all. Even when we want to. Stressful seasons are a great opportunity to re-evaluate our commitments. Taking things off our plates can open room for your greatest priorities in that season. 


Communicate Temporary Household Expectations 


Are you and your husband used to certain standards in your home? Previous norms can be difficult to maintain during stressful life seasons. There are often unspoken standards between a husband and a wife regarding how the home should look and operate. Changes within the home might create tension between one other. If you feel you are carrying a load that is too much, sit down with your spouse and communicate what you feel expectations for this season should be.


Make Meals Easier 


Meal planning and freezer meals can take some time to organize, but they are very convenient in busy seasons. When you are feeling overwhelmed, even removing the mental stress of thinking through meals can bring you peace. When home life feels chaotic and out of control, having a nice meal prepared for your family also brings back confidence you might have previously lost. This positive energy can help propel you forward with motivation to set up more systems throughout your home.


Make Time for Yourself 


As the parent or spouse who is carrying most of the weight at home, time for yourself can be a challenge. The thought of making time for yourself might seem impossible. However, it’s very important to make this a priority. Self care can boost endurance, and is so critical when taking care of young kids. Self care can be as simple as a long bath at the end of the day. It might also look like scheduling a massage at the spa and having a full day to yourself to recharge. Don’t feel guilty about making time for yourself. Your family will be better for it as well! 


“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity.” Psalm 133:1 (NIV)


Wife Step: Which step can you take today to help lighten your load at home? Choose one and ask your husband, a friend or family member to help!

Kristin is the pastor wife to her hubby and best friend, Tim. Together they have three beautiful girls, and an unusually gorgeous cat named Scooter. Kristin helped start Essential Church in Huntsville, Al, where her husband is the lead pastor. She loves to encourage women with Biblical truth and funny stories at www.kristinmilner.com.


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