All Wives

What It Means To Be the Gatekeeper of Your Home

August 31, 2022

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By Heather Frank

What does it mean to be the gatekeeper of your home? Is it a gift, a position of power, or a holy responsibility to decide who and what has access to the heartbeat of your home? It’s D, all of the above.

Wednesdays are one of my favorite days of the week. I gather with local ladies and dive into God’s word as we hash out theology and how to navigate life together in a holy community. I will never forget one Wednesday morning when something so pivotal stood out to me: we, as women who are the wives and mothers of our families, carry the holy weight of our homes by being the gatekeepers.

We are not a group to shy away from the hard but necessary conversations that guide us through the highs and lows of life. From the lessons learned in scripture to the next big thing the media is highlighting, we navigate the grit together. Because when we bring truth to the table like a light shining in the darkness, we are able to sanctify our roles as gatekeepers to build a solid foundation for our families.

The Challenging But Honorable Call of Gatekeeper

This idea of having the role of controlling access to something or someone is a privilege because it comes with weighty challenges. You get to decide who has access to your children and who gets to pour life into your marriage.

Not only do you get to choose the who and the what, but you get to decide the how. Will you set a tone for your home that produces the fruit of the spirit? Does your spouse and your children see you as a beaming light, or freight train that they wish to avoid? Are you producing conversations led by love and humility? The who, what, and how of being a gatekeeper will not only set the tone of your family, but result in a lasting effect on their future family and community.

3 Skills of a Gatekeeper

What it Means to be the Gatekeeper of Your Home

In order to answer this calling, you need to spend intentional time alone with the Lord and ask for direction in these three areas.

  1. Discernment. Being the gatekeeper of your home is using wisdom to decide who and what gets to contribute to your family values. When you pray for wisdom, the Lord is always faithful to provide. Dear wife, use that very wisdom given by the Father to filter what you allow to pour into your family. You will never regret having discernment for his voice of reason that shapes your marital values and children’s core beliefs.
  2. Influence. You have been given the power to choose what infiltrates you and your family’s mind, body and soul. With this weight-filled responsibility comes the free choice of what your family consumes on all three levels. Dear wife, you have a mighty influence in your home. You set the tone for your family, so pray your steps are led with wisdom and a joyful heart. It will take time to develop this skill. How you decipher what you allow in your home will make space for flourishment and not disaster.
  3. Conviction. Having conviction looks like knowing when to have hard but necessary conversations. As the gatekeeper you combine your discernment and influence gifted from him with great conviction. You are able to walk with holy confidence as you navigate the hard spaces in life with your spouse and your children. Dear wife, I urge you to step out in boldness with great conviction, unafraid of a righteous fight because you have prepared your family for those very moments.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. ” Ephesians 5:15-17 (ESV)

The people the lord has put in front of you to love and steward well are too important for you to not rise to the occasion of being a bold yet joyous gatekeeper. This isn’t a burden, dear wife. You can do be a gatekeeper of your family because God is faithful to equip you to do so.

Wife Step: Ask the Lord to reveal to you how to be a woman after his heart as you navigate the role of a gatekeeper.

Grab our free marriage resources here!

Heather Frank is the wife to a small-town dreaming entrepreneur and mother of two. She is an advocate for mental health wellness and spreading the Gospel. Heather published her first book, “Gracefully Navigating Anxiety: Gospel Direction for a Peace-filled Mindset” shortly after laying down a successful photography business.

Heather is a published photographer, writer, and creative with a passion for women who feel broken and community that can be the hands and feet of Jesus.

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