Truths to Help you Stand Firm in Your Identity When Life and Marriage is Hard

Years ago, my husband and I were excited to be taking our family on a vacation out west. This trip was back before the days of readily-available navigation systems on our vehicle or phones. So, my husband borrowed a friend’s Garmin, hoping this device would keep us moving in the right direction. 

Sadly, that was far from the case—in more ways than one.  

We found ourselves getting off-course and meandering aimlessly, well past midnight, somewhere outside of Kansas City. With exhaustion fueling our frustration, we ended up bickering over whether or not this handy gadget could be trusted or not. I voted, not!

Later, we figured out that the problem wasn’t really with the Garmin so much. It stemmed from outdated satellite maps and information loaded on the device. All our arguing did was make a bad situation worse for our entire family. 

In much the same way, I journeyed into marriage not even realizing how often I was relying on faulty and inferior information about my identity. At the time, I had no idea how important it was to anchor, strengthen and be clear about my identity as a wife and, more importantly, as a Christ-follower. 

What did become clear was how easily I could get off track when I felt confused, anxious, or angry. These were the tensions and triggers that sent me driving off in the wrong direction—getting lost in the detours of life and marriage.

Eventually, I realized that God’s word was the best map for life, offering me the correct “coordinates,” or truths, for anchoring my identity in Christ. Once I began to understand how Christ relates to me and provides for me, my marriage and life began to make more sense and improve. 

Understanding and embracing these truths about my identity in Christ gives me the clarity to keep going in the right direction, no matter what faulty information might come my way. 

If you remember and apply the following truths, you can strengthen your identity in Christ as well.

You are profoundly loved by God. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 (NIV)

Whenever you feel unloved or unlovable, remind yourself of the extent God went to prove His love for you.    

You will never be abandoned by God. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 (NIV)

Whenever you feel rejected by your husband or others, know that God will never reject or leave you. Lean into this comforting truth for the stability you need in lonely moments of life! 

You are forgiven and set free. “We have been set free because of what Christ has done. Through his blood our sins have been forgiven. We have been set free because God’s grace is so rich.” Ephesians 1:7 (NIRV)

Don’t live another day burdened by shame and despair. Christ already paid your debt.

You are strong in Christ’s power. “His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 (NIV)

On the days you feel powerless to change your life and/or marriage, remember this is never the case with God in your life. Look to and rely on His strength for the challenges that emerge each day. 

Wife Step: Which of these four truths about your identity in Christ do you need to focus on the most?  

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Beth Steffaniak is an author, marriage blogger, life-coach, pastor’s wife, empty nester and proud grandma. She resides with her husband in southern Illinois, where they enjoy leading marriage workshops together, as well as investing in helping people grow closer to Christ, each other and the disconnected. You can find more of her writing at www.messymarriage.com.