How Past Sexual Abuse Threatens Your Marriage

Dear wife, have you faced sexual abuse in your past? If so, I am so sorry. I have some encouragement for you today.

A Story of Abuse

I know a 15-year-old young lady who had it all together.  She loved Jesus, made good grades, and was loved by many.  She came from a great, well-respected family.  

One summer day, her youth pastor stopped by her family’s home to deliver some of his garden-raised vegetables.  The young lady was alone but never feared this youth pastor and close family friend.  The youth pastor and the young lady visited for a few minutes, standing inside the front door.  

Very unexpectedly, as the youth minister was exiting, he turned around and pinned the young lady tightly against the door.  In an instant, this young girl’s world changed forever. 

Unexpected trauma quickly paralyzes its victims. The fear that results keeps numerous women from reaching out, seeking support, and finding healing for deep wounds in their hearts and lives.  

The Impact of Sexual Abuse in Marriage

This particular young lady buried her pain and shame.  When marriage came, her relationship with her husband suffered because of the abuse. Intimacy was difficult. She struggled to shake her shame and questioned if she was worthy.  Quiet moments and time alone were filled with thoughts of self-hate, negative self-image, and an insecure identity. Because she went into marriage with a distorted view of love, it kept her from understanding God’s unconditional love, as well as her husband’s love.  

Trauma is an unwanted visitor that shows up unexpectedly and causes undesirable pain and ongoing fear in your life.  Many of us are living in marriage today hiding traumas of our past.  

Healing from Sexual Abuse

Has your trauma silenced you, or have you talked about your trauma?  If you are being terrorized by shame and pain inflicted upon you through sexual abuse, I encourage you to reach out to a Christian counselor and let someone walk with you to begin your healing journey. 

You will be surprised at the benefits your marriage will receive as your heart begins to heal from past pain. It is worth it, my friend. Do not be haunted by terrifying silence any longer.

As far as the young lady, she had a belief that she had to earn love from others.  In her 40’s, there is much healing that needs to occur in her life.  

However, I know a lady gradually releasing her fears and allowing others to love her.  I watch her sob as she begins to understand the hurt and pain she has in her heart.  What a blessing that she is learning to experience God’s unconditional love and to love unconditionally.  A healing journey has begun.  

Healing journeys are painful but beautiful!  Do you need to start a healing journey today?

Wife Step: If you have been sexually abused in the past, please make it a point to find a Christian counselor today.  If there is other trauma in your past that is not sexual abuse, please reach out to a Christian counselor to begin a healing journey.  Any trauma that you have walked through and not dealt with properly will impact your marriage, but there is hope if you reach out for help.​

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Karen lives in Madison, Alabama with her husband and three children. Karen has served as Preschool and Children’s Pastor and has been involved in women’s ministry for many years leading small groups, making hospital visits, organizing retreats, and encouraging the hearts of women. Karen now blogs at Glimpses of Faith and Struggles.  What started out as a way to communicate medical facts has become a place where Karen uses life experiences to encourage others in their life journey.  When she’s not busy caring for her family or writing, you might find her cooking or crafting.

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