Looking at Your Marriage with Fresh Eyes

I’ve noticed our marriage has become comfortable. We go on the same dates, wash the same dishes, pay the same bills, and turn the same nightstand lamps off before bed. Days feel mundane and un-noteworthy. 

If we aren’t careful, comfortable becomes too comfortable, and we lack the spiritual and emotional closeness that keeps a marriage strong.

It’s true there’s beauty in routine and miracles in the mundane, but it doesn’t hurt to look at our lives with fresh eyes every once in a while.

I’ve recently been praying for God to open my eyes and let me see my husband and my life in a new way. I want to see with heavenly eyes, not my contacts-wearing earthly eyes, because I know that seeing my husband the way God sees Him will lead me to love him better and serve him more. 

Why It Matters

Living life with blinders on, in marriage and otherwise, is not how God wants His daughters to live. We simply lack appreciation when we lack seeing good. He wants us to live eyes-wide-open so we can see others as Christ sees them – fully enjoying who they are and who they will become. 

Seeing the best in everyone should be our goal as followers of Jesus, and that certainly includes seeing the best in the one we share our lives with. Extending that kind of grace and kindness to our husbands makes room for them to do the same for us. Grace + grace is always a win.

How We Get Our Eyes Checked

I know how hard it can be to see through fresh eyes if you’ve been struggling through marriage, if the kids have been hard to handle, or if life has felt too hard for too long. But I want to encourage you today that God can give you a brand new vision in your marriage.

But regardless of the season of marriage we find ourselves in, we can see our marriage through fresh perspective by asking God to check our hearts.

Something beautiful happens when God searches our hearts and we humbly allow Him to do a work in us.

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)

We can pray this Psalm daily as a heart-check and an eye exam all at once. If the eyes are the windows to the heart, we can pursue a pure heart by pursuing the heart of the Father. 

As God reveals our hearts more to us, we will begin to see more of the good in our husbands, we are more likely to call out the good, and are more likely to believe for more good. 

Wives, we have a calling that is greater than us. God has chosen us to be helpmates, friends, and encouragers for our men. We were made for such a time as this to love well, and carry light with us everywhere we go. But it’s easy to lose sight of this great call and of the holy gift of marriage.

Let’s ask God for clearer vision and open heart eyes (not just the emoji) for our spouses. Let’s believe in the 20/20 vision available for us this year and forevermore.

Wife Step: Write down one new thing you love about your husband and your marriage every day this week. At the end of the week, give the list to your husband with a note letting him know you’ve been praying for him and your marriage.

Bonus Step: Plan a surprise, new date night idea that you’ve never done before!​

Kaitlin is a wife, author, speaker, and coach who loves words, good coffee, and traveling to new cities. Her favorite places include airports, hotel rooms, and bookstores. Kaitlin and her husband Caleb live in Huntsville, AL and serve at Church of the Highlands. She never meets a stranger and is a sucker for brunch dates. She hopes everyone who meets her sees Jesus in her eyes and feels a little lighter when they leave her presence. You can say hi to Kaitlin on social media at @kaitlinchappellrogers on Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook, @kchaprogers on Twitter, or on her website at kaitlinchappellrogers.com!