All Wives

How To Support Your Husband When It’s Hard – Kristin Milner

August 18, 2018


How to Support Your Husband When It’s Hard

Some friends approached me one Sunday morning as I was walking into church. They were excited that my husband, Tim, had invited them to our Super Bowl Party that afternoon. Attempting to hide my shock and confusion, I smiled and told them I couldn’t wait for the party.


What party? At my house? Did they have me confused for someone else?


As I continued walking in, more people approached me with excitement about the Super Bowl party I was throwing later that day. The number of guests kept growing.


I searched the building for Tim, desperate to find out what was going on. How could he throw a Super Bowl party and invite these people without telling me? I tried remaining calm.


By the time I found Tim, I was so angry. Super Bowl Sunday parties come with high expectations. Pinterest worthy snacks. Fun décor. A clean house. We had none of those things.


I was 39 weeks pregnant – too pregnant to even get my shoes on and off by myself. How could I make elaborate snacks and clean our house in just a few hours?


Forty people showed up that evening. Forty. Neither of us remember what we ate or if our house was clean. We didn’t have any decorations or Pinterest worthy snacks.


All we remember is how much fun everyone had.


Our friends weren’t looking for a party with great décor or snacks. They were looking for community. We were able to provide that.


That morning, as I stewed over the expectations I placed on myself to host, my husband saw a need among the people in our church. Should he have asked before inviting forty people to our house for a Super Bowl party? Yes. However, I was the one that learned the lesson that day.


Tim spontaneously planned the party assuming I would understand and support his decision.


As wives, sometimes the most important thing we can do for our husbands is support their decisions. Even if those decisions require extra effort on our part.   


Wife Step: Ask your husband how you can be more supportive of him.


Kristin lives in Huntsville, Al (or Rocket City as the Huntsvillian’s call it) with her husband Tim and two daughters. Kristin and her husband helped start Epic Church in San Francisco, Ca., and are now the lead planters of Essential Church in Huntsville, Al.  


While living and working in San Francisco, Kristin and her husband felt God calling them to Huntsville to start a church for people in the South who no longer believed church was for them.  She’s been married to her best friend and biggest fan, Tim, for ten years. Together they have two beautiful girls, Sophia and Selah. They are expecting again at the end of May.


Before motherhood, Kristin was a Mary Kay director and an aspiring business woman. After years of hard work launching and maintaining a successful career, it all fell apart upon moving across the country. For years after losing her career, Kristin struggled with understanding her value and self-worth. She sought value in other titles, such as being a pastor’s wife, and then eventually a mom.


Kristin now understands our value doesn’t come from the titles or careers we have. Kristin is a stay-at-home mom who seeks to give her children an ordinary, happy childhood. She seeks to find her value in Jesus each day and teaches her kids to do the same by teaching them scripture and letting them see how God fills our shortcomings. She has found her family’s gifts come to the surface when there is space for simplicity. She loves running, reading, writing, being outdoors, and hiking with her family.


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