How to Stop Depression from Hurting Your Marriage
Does depression affect your marriage? Read this post to learn how it may be affecting your marriage.
Depression can weigh heavy on your marriage, but you can take steps to stop it.
Hope for the Depressed Wife
You may feel guilty that your depression is affecting your husband. I challenge you to use that guilt as a springboard for getting help.
By getting help and healing for your depression, you’re also getting help to strengthen your marriage. You will feel proud for doing the right thing for you, your marriage, and your family.
How You Can Get Help For Your Depression
Pray About Your Depression
Cover your depression in prayer. Ask God to connect you with the right counselor. Pray that God will open your eyes to the roots of your struggles and help you deal with them once and for all. Ask him to heal you from your depression and give you the tools to deal with your triggers. He will hear and answer your prayers, friend, because he keeps all your tears in little bottles (Psalm 56:8 NLT).
Also, pray that God will guard and protect your marriage as you work to overcome your depression. He will show you ways to stay connected and rely on your husband through your trial. Trust God to give you the answers and direction you need.
I wish I would have known this sooner: Talking to my husband, friends and family about my problems was helpful, but talking to God and my counselor was essential. My husband, friends and family weren’t equipped to serve as counselors. They could offer reassurance and kindness, but they couldn’t offer healing.
Only God could offer healing that lasts, and my counselor was trained to offer healing from a completely objective standpoint. I specifically chose a Christian counselor because I wanted treatment from a Bible-based perspective. I wouldn’t be free from depression today without professional help.
I sought Christian counseling during my seasons of depression that affected my marriage. Those one-hour sessions every two weeks were the best money I spent. It helped me sort through my unreasonable expectations for marriage and better understand the roots of my depression. Those six months of counseling gave me several tools for fighting my depression with greater strength. Through counseling, God began to work healing power into my heart and into my marriage.
In 2010, my depression returned even though my faith was strong. I couldn’t wash the dishes or read to my little ones without bursting into tears. I recognized the depression’s familiar weight on my chest, as if I was wearing a heavy fur coat all the time. I knew I needed more counseling because I couldn’t carry out my daily functions, and I started my sessions again.
You will find hope in Jesus as you reach out to him and to other believers and counselors. Don’t struggle alone. The day of healing awaits you if you are willing to reach out for it.
If you are struggling with depression, search for a Christian counselor in your area. Know that it may take a few tries to find a good fit with the right counselor for you. Persist in your appointments so you can get the help you need.
For the next five years, I met twice per month with a Christian counselor to discover the deep roots of my depression. My counselor and I slowly walked through the grieving process of each of my losses. I also spent a lot of time reading the Bible, praying and journaling, which strengthened my relationship with God. I finally broke free from the burdens of my past with God’s guidance and professional help.
If depression has taken a hold on you, you can’t afford to ignore it. It colors the whole way you look at the world, and you will get caught up in negativity. It will affect all the relationships you have, especially your marriage. You may or may not need medication to control your depression, and there is no shame in needing talk therapy, medication or both. When you reach out for help with depression, God opens a space for healing to come into your heart and your marriage.
Wife Step: If you are struggling with depression, take a free online assessment test for instant clarity. Then search for a Christian counselor in your area and begin regular appointments. You will probably need at least three months of counseling to begin seeing a big difference. Persistence is important, and don’t be afraid to be honest about your problems. That’s when the big changes can occur.
It’s hard to admit, but depression may be hurting both me and my marriage. I need your help, Lord.
Please lead me to a trustworthy source of counseling. I know as I take the first step, you will be faithful to help me move forward.
When I feel fearful, guilty or ashamed, I will put my trust in you. I know that no problem is too big for you to handle. I believe that you will help me with my depression, and you will remove its effects from my marriage.
Thank you, Lord, for caring so much about me. I am thankful I am never alone because you are with me always.
In Jesus’ name,
Sarah Geringer writes about Finding Peace in God’s Word at sarahgeringer.com and is the author of three books. Sarah lives in her beloved home state of Missouri with her husband and three children, right in the heart of prime viewing for the Great Eclipses of 2017 and 2024.