All Wives

How to Let Go Of Your Running List of Frustrations – Susan Wilder

September 24, 2018

How to Let Go Of Your Running List of Frustrations

I LOVE lists. I love to make lists: grocery lists, long term goal lists, wish lists and ALWAYS the to-do list.


While I love to make lists, my challenge comes in the actual doing of the list, completing the tasks, and checking them off the list.


No worries, I’ve come up with a solid solution: At the end of the day, I write out the list of things I have accomplished, and then I check off each of the things proclaiming it a successful day.


A new day begins, and I have a blank list again. I love the clean slate.


But there’s this one list that I’m not so good at checking off.


It’s the mental list of things my husband does that bother me. Do you have one too?


Here’s what that list might look like:

He didn’t realize I’d had a bad day.

He left the greasy popcorn bowl on the counter.

He didn’t offer to help with the dishes.

He didn’t ask me what was wrong.

He left the candy wrapper on the coffee table.

He hurt my feelings with a flippant comment.

His dirty socks are STILL on the floor.

He knew I was mad, and he went to bed anyway.


Why is it that we hold on to this list?  Why is it that his list of wrongs isn’t granted the same clean slate each morning? Why would I be so grace-filled to a list of things to do, and not be as forgiving to the man that I love with all my heart?


As I review the list of my husbands offenses, my heart aches as I recognize my own list within his.


Did I bother to share with him that I had a bad day? Did I serve him well by simply moving that bowl to the sink? He did the dishes three nights this week. My response to his flippant comment was clearly hurtful and unkind.


Lord, forgive me.

What if we approached our mental list of frustrations toward our husbands with forgiveness and grace? What if we determined to check off offenses immediately, rather than allowing them to even make the list? What if we focused our attention NOT on the list of wrongs but on a new list of rights?


A list of the reasons I’m thankful for my husband.


Oh friends, we have the perfect Heavenly Father who took our list of wrongs and covered it with grace and forgiveness with the blood of HIs son, Jesus. Ask Him to bring your heart to a place of His grace!

Wife step: Write out 1 Corinthians 13:5b: Love keeps no record of wrongs. Cover your list with that verse. Replace it with this: Love keeps a record of rights.

Saying yes to Jesus in walking by faith has charted an unexpectedly challenging, joy-filled journey for Susan Wilder. From preschool teacher to writer, speaker, blogger, her sweetest moments come through encouraging women to seek God first and realize the hope we have in following Jesus. Tender love for her husband, Frank, daughters Katie, Kellie, and Mollie, son Clay, sons-in-law Chris, Tim and Tolliver drive her hobbies of cooking and reading. The title of Mimi to four grandboys is more precious than ever imagined. Just ask, she’ll tell you all about them. Susan currently serves as the Women’s Ministry Leader at Southeast Christian Church (Crestwood Campus) in Louisville, Kentucky.  Blog:


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