By Rebecca Hastings
Has date night become a chore instead of a joy? Here’s how to get excited about date night, even if you have been married for a while.
How to Get Excited About Date Nights
It had been weeks since we went out on a date. Busy schedules, daily routines, and pandemic concerns all made it challenging. And frankly, I was tired. Tired physically, but also tired of doing the same few things over and over.
I knew we needed to spend time together, but I didn’t know how to be excited about it. There was no way I would admit it, but I had lost hope in the idea of dates that were more than ordinary.
But God doesn’t want us to be stuck in places of despair.
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 (CSB)
You don’t need to do this on your own. Hope lives inside of you! You can look forward to date night again.
5 Ways to Get Excited About Date Nights
- Think about what you will wear before the date.
If I’m in stained joggers and a hoodie all day, chances are I won’t be feeling very excited for date night. Plus, when it comes time to get ready, after a long day of spilled milk and homework help, getting out of those comfy clothes will feel impossible.
You don’t need to dress up all day (although you can!) but wear something that makes you feel comfortable and put together. That way getting ready won’t feel like such a chore or drastic shift. Some people say dress for the day you want to have. Let’s try dressing for the date you want to have.
- Change it up.
It’s great to have your favorite, standby spot to grab dinner. But sometimes we need something new. Try going out for breakfast or lunch (I know I’m much more awake when I do this!) Or head to a different town for dinner and a walk. A new experience, place, or change of scenery can do a lot for the dating doldrums.
- Chat it up.
Talk about date night the way you did when you were dating. Tell your girlfriends you’ve got a date. Ask what you should wear. Text your husband in the morning telling him you’re looking forward to your plans. (This also works as a great reminder for him!) Sharing about date night breeds excitement.
- Embrace the season.
Yes, this can mean the literal season by finding activities that match the weather. But it can also mean the season of life. Dating is going to look different when you have babies at home versus teenagers. That’s not bad. It’s just different. Figure out the challenges and the benefits. Then focus on those great things you get to do this season.
- Go back.
Think about the early days of dating. Where did you go? What did you eat? Did you have a favorite show to watch together or music you always listened to in the car?
Memory is a powerful thing. Smells, sounds, experiences can all bring up feelings we have had in the past. Use some of those things to bring back the exciting feelings of your early dating. There’s nothing quite like that one song coming on the radio or the dessert you shared on your first date to bring you right back. Use that to your advantage!
No matter how long it’s been, dating your husband can be exciting again. It may seem like work now, but these little bits of effort will be worth it!
Wife Step: Choose one of these ideas and use it for a date night this week.
Rebecca Hastings is a writer and speaker helping women discover faith in their real, everyday life. Married for 23 years, she is a wife and mother of three living in her hometown in Connecticut. Her books, including Worthy: Believe Who God Says You Are, are available on Amazon. Rebecca can often be found typing words, driving her kids places, or wherever there is chocolate.