By Dawn R. Ward
Often we are tempted to fight with our husbands. What if, instead, we fought fiercely for our husbands and our marriages? Here’s how to fight fiercely for your marriage.
Why You Need to Fight Fiercely for Your Marriage
It’s a staggering statistic; almost fifty percent of marriages end in divorce in our country. For first timers, sadly, forty-one percent will cut their marital ties. While I can cite several studies, a simple online search will prove these numbers are not exaggerated. The institution of marriage is God-ordained, yet Christian marriages are dissolving at approximately the same rate.
Many marriages, while not ending in a legal separation or divorce, are barely surviving. Two people who once pledged their love and lives to each other now can hardly stand to be in the same room together.
I understand. Maybe you feel duped. Instead of marrying Prince Charming, you’re convinced you married Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. For some, your marriage feels stale; your spouse seems disconnected from you and uninterested.
While some marriages may need to end due to abuse or infidelity, far too many are destroyed for the simple reason that the couples gave up too soon. They weren’t willing to fight fiercely for their marriages.
I’ve been married for a long time. Thankfully, our marriage has weathered many storms. We have faced many battles most couples face during a lifetime of marriage. We’ve raised a family, experienced financial problems, and endured physical illnesses and the deaths of those we love.
There were times when our lives were turned upside down. It was during those painful, rocky times I had to learn how to fight fiercely for my marriage. Thankfully, our marriage not only survived, but now thrives even in the hard seasons of life.
How to Fight Fiercely for Your Marriage
When something is important to us, we have to work for it. Marriage is no different. Here are some practical tips to help you fight for your marriage.
- Determine your marriage is worth the fight.
To see genuine lasting change in your marriage, first you must decide it is worth fighting for. Have you made that decision? If not, ask the Lord to show you his heart for your spouse and for your marriage. (See Matthew 19:8)
- Believe God is for your marriage.
It is easy to lose hope when your marriage is struggling. Believing God is for the healing of your marriage will help you to stay in the fight and not give up.
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.’” Genesis 2:18 (ESV)
- Pray for your husband.
Pray your husband will love God, desire to be a godly leader in your marriage, and will love you as Christ loves the church. (Ephesians 5:22-33)
- Examine your own heart.
Ask the Lord to search your heart and reveal any wrong attitudes or actions on your part that are contributing to marital conflict. (See Psalm 139:23-24)
- Communicate your concerns without using the “D” word.
Learn to communicate with your spouse without the threat of divorce. Agree together that the “D” word will not be used against each other. Before your marriage is beyond repair, seek biblical counseling. (See Mark 10:8-9)
- Love fiercely.
Desire to love your husband without limits and with the same love Christ has for him. “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (ESV)
Don’t give up! You are not in this battle alone. The Lord is also fighting for you as you seek to have a marriage that pleases and honors him.
Wife Step: Are you struggling with any of the tips listed above? Choose one to focus on this week. Ask someone you trust to keep you accountable as you strive to make positive changes in this area.
Dawn Ward is a speaker, writer and blogger. She is the founder of The Faith to Flourish, a ministry that equips women who desire to grow in their faith, cultivate healthy relationships and thrive in all seasons of life. She also ministers to women with loved ones struggling with addiction, mental health issues and life-destructive behaviors. Dawn is the co-author of the book “Still Standing After All the Tears Workbook: Faith in the Battle Edition. She has been married to her husband, Steve, for over forty years and is mom to three adult children. It is her passion to help all women grow in their faith as they learn to better understand the Bible and how to apply it to their lives.