By Victoria Riollano
Everyone loves to be admired. Showing admiration in unlikely ways can bring the spark back into your marriage.
The Importance of Admiration
I used to think that only wives enjoyed being called out for having a new hairstyle or being applauded for a job well done. Yet, after sixteen years of marriage, I’ve learned that men also enjoy feeling admired. There is something special about one spouse showing another how valuable they are.
Sadly, showing admiration tends to fade with the busyness of life, children, and responsibilities outside the home. But the truth is, we cannot neglect to show affection to our husbands. Just like we desire to feel loved, valuable, appreciated, and honored, so do our husbands. Whether they admit it or not, our husbands can use a kind word, a flirty touch, and encouragement to help them to know they are loved.
When we fail to take notice and admire our husbands, we cause them to feel rejected. This rejection can be a breeding ground for the enemy to sow discord in your home.
Let us not forget what the Bible says about the enemy, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10 NIV
If the enemy can divide our homes, he will by any means possible. Although showing admiration isn’t the ultimate cure for marital issues, intentional actions of love and admiration toward our husbands can help create a more harmonious environment.
What the Bible Says About Admiration
A basic definition of admiration means to show respect and genuine appreciation. From a biblical perspective, we first see admiration as God looks at his creation on several occasions and says, “This is good.” We see it again when Adam meets his new wife and is astonished by her beauty and proclaims “At last! … This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh.” Genesis 2:23a NLT
God didn’t see his creation as ordinary, and neither did Adam. There was excitement and recognition that what was in front of them was unique and worthy of admiration.
God calls us to do the same with our husbands. When is the last time you paused and simply appreciated the good in your husband? If it’s been a while, today’s the day to start again.
Additionally, we must reconsider the definition of admiration which is to show respect. Paul speaks of this as well when he says, “So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33 NLT
Respect for our husbands is a great way to show admiration and is a biblical mandate. In other words, if you fail to have a general sense of respect for your husband, you will likely not do or say things that are kind or admirable.
I want to pause to ask you a few tough questions. Do you treat your husband like one of your children? Do you belittle him in private or public? Do you make him feel like he doesn’t measure up to your needs? If any of these are true, here are a couple of ways to swiftly change how you interact with your husband.
Showing Admiration in Unlikely Ways
1. Talk behind his back in a good way.
Imagine how your husband may feel if someone says to him, “I’ve heard so many great things about you.” As a spouse, this has been said to me by those I met for the first time through my husband, and it made me feel so special and loved. Let’s form a habit of talking about the great qualities of our guy. This is not just honoring, but a way to show them that we think of them with admiration even when they aren’t present.
2. Put away distractions.
Undivided attention is the ultimate way to “show up.” I have been guilty of showing more attention to my cell phone, social media, and even my children than my husband. If we want to show our husbands love and admiration, let us pause and ask ourselves if we really pay attention to them. Be careful to not let anything separate or cause dishonor in your relationship.
3. Listen to him.
My personal desire to insert my opinion, give advice or prove my husband wrong caused me to interrupt conversation more than listen. Yet, talking over someone and ignoring their perspective is a form of disrespect. May we be willing to hear their heart on matters and even interact with fun conversation. This is a great way to show your husband how much you adore him and enjoy being in his presence.
These tips on showing admiration in unlikely ways will make a big difference in how much love and respect your husband feels from you.
Wife Step: Choose one of the three steps to put into practice this week, and watch the difference unfold.
Victoria Riollano is an author, blogger, recording artist and speaker. As a mother of seven, military spouse, Psychology professor and pastor’s wife, Victoria has learned the art of balancing family and accomplishing God’s ultimate purpose for her life. Recently, Victoria released her book, The Victory Walk: A 21 Day Devotional on Living A Victorious Life. Victoria’s work can be seen worldwide via iBelieve.com, crosswalk.com, and more! Her ultimate desire is to empower women to live a life of victory, hope, and love. She believes that with Christ we can live a life that is ALWAYS winning.You can learn more about her ministry at victoryspeaks.org.