4 Steps to a Healthier Marriage
“If only I could do this, then it would be perfect between us.”
“If only he would act that way, then everything would be perfect.”
We have this idea in our minds of what perfection in marriage looks like. The trouble is…there is no such thing.
Granted, there are ‘perfect’ moments. Those little tickles of time when life is just so dreamy and your husband is all you could ever want.
“Oh, I love this man! Thank you Lord that you blessed me with this great guy!”
“I am the luckiest woman in the world!”
Those are typically followed by times of impatience, aggravation, frustration or anger.
“Did he REALLY leave his socks on the floor AGAIN?”
“I thought we agreed, we WOULDN’T make that purchase right now!”
No perfection to be found!
Ecclesiastes 7:20 (ESV) says it well:
Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.
Because marriage will never be perfect, we can instead shift our mindset to developing the habit of creating healthier marriages. Perfection cannot be earned and it cannot be bought. But a happy, strong, healthy marriage can be achieved.
So how can you create a healthier marriage regardless of the season of marriage you’re in?
- Allow God to be the foundation of your marriage. There is strength to be found in keeping God at the center of your marriage. Do you turn to God only when you need Him, or do you depend on Him for everything? Do you desire to be with God and His word? Are you connected and engaged at a local church and do you meet with other believers? If not, start now!
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of
three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12 ESV)
- Stand in unity together. The darkness of the world would love nothing better than to infiltrate your marriage. Decide that you are both on the same team and that you will work through conflict together, in healthier ways. Contact a Christian Counselor and get help with communication!
Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. (Mark 10:9 ESV )
- Make your husband your priority. He should be second only to God. That includes your children, your job, your volunteer work, etc.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24 ESV)
- Love your husband wholeheartedly. Give it all you’ve got, ladies! Love goes beyond any words or even the fruits of the Spirit.
And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:14 ESV)
Wives, I have been in a marriage where unity has seemed impossible. I have learned to put in practice the steps above to create a healthy marriage and an atmosphere of respect and love. I have learned to stand together with my husband instead of letting the issues of life tear us apart. It can be done. We just have to have a real heart for our spouses and a true desire for a healthy marriage.
Wife Step: Do you know what makes your husband feel loved? If you don’t, ask him! Then, make every effort to incorporate this into your day.
Betty Predmore is an author, speaker, blogger, and ministry leader. Betty has experienced broken homes, divorce, abuse, grief, being a single mother, blended families, and adoption. Betty uses the broken places and movement of God in her own life to share God’s Word in an inspiring way, sprinkled with honesty, humor, and encouragement, and reflecting the love of Jesus to all she meets.
Betty is the Founding Director of two community faith-based ministries. Mom-Sense helps women overcome life struggles through small group classes with biblical curriculum, individual counseling, bibles studies, and other areas of support. The Imperial Valley Coalition for Life is a pro-life organization that values the sanctity of life and encourages women to choose life by offering various means of support throughout pregnancy and infancy.
Betty has published two devotionals: Pondering Virtue and Whispered Grace. Betty is honored to be a part of the A Wife Like Me contributor team. She has also contributed to other publications such as Southern Faith Magazine, Purposeful Life, and Aspiring Woman Magazine. She is also a contributor for several online Christian blogging sites.
Of all her roles in life, Betty is most honored to be wife to Jim and mama to a brood of 7, which includes biological and adopted children.