3 Steps to Lessen Your Loneliness in Your Marriage

Do you struggle with loneliness in marriage?

I think we all do from time to time. Yet those of us may struggle with it more often than others. That’s me, and maybe it’s you too.

Loneliness has long been my unwanted companion. My parents divorced when I was 4, and that’s when loneliness started knocking on my door. It sat at my bedside during childhood, walked beside me in high school, and didn’t leave my side in college.

Loneliness carved a hole in my heart that only God could fill. Yet when I met my husband-to-be, I thought his love would be enough to fill up that hole.

Only two weeks after our wedding, loneliness took up residence in our little rented room. Its presence shocked me! I thought getting married would banish loneliness forever, but in some ways, I felt its presence more keenly after marriage.

Loneliness can threaten to undermine your marriage. Through our many trials in the past 18 years, I’ve learned ways to set loneliness outside on the porch instead of letting it in.

How to Combat Your Feelings of Loneliness

• Read God’s Word every morning. The closer you draw near to God by studying His word, the looser grip loneliness will have on your heart. Using the One Year Bible since 2002, my entire outlook has changed and my faith has grown!

• Seek Christian counseling. Because the roots of my loneliness were so deep, I needed professional help to get healthy. There’s no shame in seeking help, and it can revolutionize your viewpoint, just as it did for me.

• Spend time with Christian girlfriends. I had to learn not to expect my husband to meet all my needs. When you intentionally cultivate relationships with Christian women, you won’t feel as dependent on your marriage to meet your emotional needs.

Wife Step: When you’re feeling lonely in your marriage, use the lonely feeling as a trigger for prayer. Every time you try to numb or satisfy your loneliness in something else, pray instead.

Here are suggestions for prayers:

• • Lord, I believe your promise that You will never leave me nor forsake me (Deut. 31:6). I am never truly alone with You.
  • Jesus, help me draw strength from You right now instead of giving into this temptation to numb my loneliness with _______________.
  • God, I trust that you see my loneliness, just as you saw Hagar’s loneliness in the wilderness (Gen. 16 & 21). I ask that You will minister to my needs, just as You ministered to hers.

What have you found helpful to combat feeling lonely in marriage?

Sarah Geringer writes about Finding Peace in God’s Word at sarahgeringer.com and is the author of three books. Sarah lives in her beloved home state of Missouri with her husband and three children, right in the heart of prime viewing for the Great Eclipses of 2017 and 2024.