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When Your Marriage Feels Broken


I’m confident that every marriage has felt broken at some point.

 

Marriages are fragile, and they are easy to drop if we sit them on an unstable surface. 

 

Placing them in God’s hands is the only way to ensure they will be completely cared for, but I know I am guilty of snatching mine out of His hands and being completely careless. When I am the one carrying it around, I easily drop and damage it.

 

One sign that I’m carrying my marriage is when I’m trying to control it. If I’m not careful and I fail to take my thoughts captive, I end up controlling every person and situation around me. When my control is aimed toward my husband, I am essentially trying to manipulate who God created him to be.

 

Marriage, by definition, is, “combination,” or “mixture.” We mix two personalities, two thought processes, and two sets of ideas when we say, “I do.” One of the worst things we can do is try to manipulate what God knit together in our mother-in-laws’ wombs when He created our husbands.

 

Do our husbands need to work on themselves? Yes. Is it our job to fix them? No. So, we lift our husbands up to God – the only solid foundation – and ask Him to soften their hearts and tweak their moods while we also ask Him to do the same to us.

 

When our marriages feel broken, it’s often because one or both spouses have decided to hold on to what we are meant to give to Jesus.

 

Handing things over to God is not always easy, so please don’t feel defeated if you struggle doing this, because we all do. But handing things over to God is always the answer.

 

Did you ever break a toy when you were little and rush to give it to your mom or dad to fix while tears streamed down your face? Imagine running to God with your broken marriage in hand, asking Him to superglue what’s broken. 

 

The best part is — He won’t superglue it; He will make it new.

 

God redeems and restores broken marriages and makes them brand new.

 

“… he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the LORD has planted for his own glory.” Isaiah 61:3 (NLT)

 

He gives us beauty for ashes and joy for mourning! He gives us renewed marriages for broken ones. He gives us fresh eyes for our spouses instead of weak ones. We belong to a God who makes all things new.

 

I don’t know what feels broken in your marriage, I don’t know what safety you feel in grasping your marriage tightly in your hands brings,  and I don’t know what mistakes you or your husband has made. But handing it all over and asking for Holy help will build a brand new foundation for your marriage to grow. 

 

Wife Step: Pray and ask God to help you release control and any unforgiveness to God. Make it a point to claim victory over your husband and your marriage when you are tempted to give up, and in those moments turn back to God again and again asking Him to have His way with your life and marriage.

Kaitlin is a newlywed striving to be a strong half of a Kingdom team with her hunk of a husband. She is a lover of words, good coffee, and exploring new cities. Her favorite places include airports, hotel rooms, and bookstores and she has yet to meet a stranger she doesn’t like. Kaitlin is addicted to shopping, yoga, and brunch and couldn’t make it a single day without her dream-supporting family and best friends. She hopes everyone who meets her sees Jesus in her eyes and feels a little lighter when they leave her presence. You can say hi to Kaitlin on social media at @kchaprogers on Instagram and Twitter, @kaitlinchappellrogers on Facebook, or on her website at kaitlinchappell.com!

1 Comment

  1. Brittany

    This post was such a blessing to me today. I was very stuck in this mindset of asking God, “Please tell me what to do to fix my husband!”. I felt like I was trying to force a change. After reading this, I feel so calm and at peace. It hit me. It’s not my job to “fix” my husband. I need to give it all to God. Pray for my husband and strive to be the wife God calls me to be; gentle, kind, full of grace. God has got this. Thank you so much for reminding me of that.

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