By Kristin Milner
When you don’t feel like you’re enough as a wife or mom, I understand. My feelings of inadequacy have caused problems before. But I have encouragement for you in my story today.
Feeling Like Not Enough
Every month I sit among several older adults who have significant health problems. Some arrive in wheelchairs. Others are in a childlike state due to significant loss of cognitive function.
Being the youngest and healthiest in the room, I’m usually filled with lots of conflicting emotions. At times I feel guilty for the health I do have. Other times, I feel suffocated by the dread of what’s to come.
The dread is a funny feeling. It’s not as much a dread of what’s to come in my own body’s inevitable decline. Rather, thoughts of concern for my husband and children stay at the forefront:
- Will I be a burden to them in the future?
- Am I already a burden to them?
- Will my young daughters grow up with bitter thoughts towards all the areas I lack in motherhood?
- Will they remember all the ways I wasn’t enough?
Marriage and motherhood are hard. With my own significant health issues added in, they often feel too daunting to manage.
When I Feel Like I’m Not Enough
The fact is, my capabilities in managing my family the way I desire aren’t enough. My body isn’t capable of doing all the things my mind wants to do. Most days, I bump up against my limits, which affects my marriage and parenting.
While this is difficult to swallow, it’s also freeing.
I’m not enough. And that’s okay. The truth is, my family needs more than what I can give them. They need the saving grace of Jesus, something much bigger than I could give them each day.
I didn’t fully understand this until recently. In Christian circles, it’s common to hear someone mention how God is strong in our weakness. I never understood how that could be possible. It wasn’t until recently that it hit me.
Paul wasn’t talking about physical strength and weakness. He meant much more than that.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
God simply wants us to surrender our inadequacy to him so he can fill us with his strength. This doesn’t always mean he will heal us, or restore physical strength to us. God’s strength is much more than that.
My limits and weakness in this life have taught me the importance of relying on Christ through prayer for my kids and husband.
When I see one of our daughters struggling with friendship, I’ve learned to pray for a great friend for her. A friend who will appreciate her personality, while also helping encourage her to live out her gifts and relationship with God.
When I feel my husband getting stressed, I’ve learned to pray for God to show me specific ways to encourage him.
When I am feeling worn down and exhausted, I’ve learned to pray for other adults who will come alongside me in parenting. My greatest desire is for other adults to love on our kids while teaching them God’s Word in their daily life.
When You Don’t Feel Like You’re Enough
We aren’t always enough, and that’s okay. What a gift God gives when he gives his strength through our weakness.
In which areas of life do you feel inadequate? How will you begin releasing those feelings to God today?
God is on our side. What a great reminder that he wants to help us in our areas of weakness, with his great strength. As you rely on him, your inadequacy will decrease, and your faith will grow.
Wife Step: Make a list of all areas of life where you feel you aren’t enough. Then make a list of specific ways you can ask God to fill in these areas of weakness with his strength.
Kristin is the pastor wife to her hubby and best friend, Tim. Together they have three beautiful girls, and an unusually gorgeous cat named Scooter. Kristin helped start Essential Church in Huntsville, Al, where her husband is the lead pastor. She loves to encourage women with Biblical truth and funny stories at www.kristinmilner.com.
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