By Rebecca Hastings
What do you do when a friendship ends?
I don’t have friends to spare. I’m not the woman with the big social circle and a calendar full of girls’ nights out and weekends in the city. I don’t have a group of couples my husband and I hang out with every week.
My circle is small. And that’s okay most of the time.
But when a recent friendship ended, it left me wondering what to do.
- Do I rush to fill the void?
- Did I do something wrong?
- How do I fix this?
Sometimes there are no answers. Sometimes the ones you are left with are out of your control. Sometimes there are only seasons of friendship.
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven,” Ecclesiastes 3:1 (CSB).
The chapter goes on to list the seasons of life like death, dancing, building, and more. While friendship isn’t listed specifically, the first verse makes it clear: (there is) “a time for every matter under heaven.” That includes friendships.
When a Friendship Ends
So what do we do when a friendship ends? Here are several points to keep in mind.
Remember that all things are ours for a season.
Everything we have, even our relationships, is for a season. Consider how God used your friend in your life for a season. Think about how God used you in her life for a season.
Coming to terms with the seasonal nature of friendship makes it easier to move forward as God calls you.
Talk to God about the end.
Spend some time with God talking about the ended friendship. Tell Him how you feel. Be honest.
Ask Him to reveal anything in you from which you need to repent. Then confess and turn in a different direction. Accept the forgiveness that He gives.
Take time to forgive your friend. Whatever caused the friendship to end, seek your heart and see if you are holding anything against her. Spend time forgiving her. This can be a conversation you have with her, but the most important thing is to forgive her in your heart.
No matter how long your friendship lasted, you can be grateful. Whether things ended because someone moved or life stages took you in different directions, whether there was a conflict or things simply faded away, you can be grateful for the friendship you shared.
Think about the blessings of the friendship you had and thank God for those things.
Final Thoughts on When a Friendship Ends
There are so many feelings when a friendship ends. Whatever happened, you can be certain that your friendship with God never ends. He is constant, always faithful to be present in your life.
If God is calling you to restore the friendship, move forward in that with faithful obedience. If God is reminding you to celebrate the season of your friendship, even if it ended, thank him and move forward with gratitude.
Wife Step: Remember God is faithful to you, in every season of every friendship.
Rebecca Hastings is a writer and speaker helping women discover faith in their real, everyday life. Married for 23 years, she is a wife and mother of three living in her hometown in Connecticut. Her books, including Worthy: Believe Who God Says You Are, are available on Amazon. Rebecca can often be found typing words, driving her kids places, or wherever there is chocolate.