What a Marriage Partnership Means

“We’re partners in this decision.” 

The words spilled from my lips as I glanced in my husband’s direction. Calling for partnership in whether to purchase a new vehicle was a no-brainer. 

But many times I choose when to play the partnership card in my marriage and when to discard that card. Like hoping my husband takes my cues on full partnership in areas I choose for him, while letting me be independent in other areas. 

Maybe it’s not a new car, but a new outfit or home decor. I act independently of him—no partnership needed. Perhaps instead of asking my husband’s opinion on a family vacation or a needed home repair, I depend on my own insight and don’t include him.

Author Jimmy Evans reminds us how partnership is one of the four foundational laws of marriage. “The law gets violated by domination. Dominating essentially states, ‘It’s mine and I’m not sharing.’”

Marriage is interdependence, not independence. Interdependence is a mutual dependence on each other. And as you may have guessed, my partnership tactics failed the test. 

Merriam-Webster defines partnership as “the persons joined together in a partnership” (emphasis added). Also, we look to the first couple in the Bible to see that one flesh means full partnership on everything.

In Genesis when God created Eve, Adam said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.” Genesis 2:23a (NIV) And God said, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 (NIV, emphasis added).

Does my marriage look like two people joined together in one flesh and in partnership? Does it look like we are united as partners in everything?

Can one body be separated into two? Nope. Since husband and wife are one flesh, neither can we separate our oneness on matters pertaining to our lives. We can’t pick and choose what suits us in the moment.

Jimmy Evans notes how we often limit marriage partnership to children, time and money. I believe this mindset is prevalent in current culture. Thoughts like:

1. Make sure your parenting ideas are carbon-copies.
2. Spend quality time as a couple by both husband and wife making equal sacrifices.
3. Agree on a dollar amount each can spend independently of the other or when partnership is needed.

Yet, it’s so much more. It’s about sharing life, willing to make all decisions together. And to live interdependently as husband and wife.

Because partners realize the relationship is more important than issues and areas of domination. Instead of saying,  It’s mine; I’m not sharing. Full partnership says, It’s ours; we share everything.

In my opening story, we decided as partners to purchase a new vehicle. But in other areas, I’m still working on full partnership and interdependence in my marriage.

It’s not easy. I ask the Lord to help me lay down dependence on my flesh and remind me I’m one flesh with my husband.

Wife Step: Reflect on areas you expect full partnership in your marriage and the areas you attempt to stay independent of your husband, or vice versa. Ask yourself, where is one of us dominating and not living interdependently? Petition the Lord to help you lay down dependence on your flesh and to see you and your husband as one flesh in everything.

Marriage books by Jimmy Evans: https://store.gatewaypeople.com/books/gateway-authors/jimmy-evans/​

Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader. As an award-winning writer and avid speaker, she loves words and God’s Word. For over a decade, she has balanced the busy life of church ministry with working from her home office in marketing where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday. A blogger, Karen “Girl” Friday engages a community every week, Hope is Among Us. She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media, and is currently working on her first book. Karen’s writing connects family life experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios as women to the timeless truths of Scripture. Vulnerable about her own marriage journey, Karen knows life never gets more real than as a wife. Karen and her husband Mike have two grown children and two grandchildren. The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday.” They owe Monday an apology. Visit her blog at KarenGirlFriday.com