Unorganized and Overwhelmed

One Sunday after church, my three girls and I walked through the parking lot towards our family van. As we walked, everything seemed normal. Both sliding doors were closed (which wasn’t always the case when walking towards the van to go home), and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. 

That is, until I couldn’t find my keys.

After tirelessly looking through my purse, I peered into the van to check  the ignition. There it was. Thankfully, the doors were unlocked. Everything was back on track. 

I loaded the girls into the van, and turned the key to start the ignition. Something felt funny. Why was the key not turning?

That’s when it hit me. I never turned the van off earlier that morning. It was running the entire time we were at church. As a pastor’s family, we had been there almost all day. The van not only had a dead battery; it was also out of gas. 

When I got home that day, I realized I had way too much going on. And when I’m over-scheduled and overly busy, the one thing I already have to work hard at gets even more out of hand – that is, my ability to keep life organized.  

Organization is not naturally easy for me. I’ve learned, however, that even though I’m highly unorganized by nature, it’s important to work on being more organized for the sake of my own emotional health as well as my ability to intentionally love my husband and family well.

When I’m functioning from a place of organization and intentionality, my entire family benefits. When I’m not, they are the first to reap the consequences.

How does being organized really help our marriages? Here are three ways I’ve found becoming more organized is helpful in our home, and how you can begin creating a more organized heart. 

1. We become better helpers to our husbands. As wives, we are called to be helpers to our husbands. We can’t do that if we are stressed and overwhelmed from the chaos of our unorganized day.

While we are all called to be helpers to others, the Bible places a special emphasis on this responsibility for wives. Genesis tells us that God realized it wasn’t good for man to be alone.  He gifted man with a “helper suitable for him” (Gen. 2:18). 

Tip: Take five minutes before you head to bed to think through the following day and write down anything you can do the following day to make it more organized. Is it to meal plan the following night before bed? Is it to make those few dreaded phone calls you’ve been avoiding? Is it to schedule in some time with friends? Take the last minutes of each day setting the following day up for success.

2. We Create Space to Love Our Husbands Well. Titus 2:4 calls for wives “to love their husbands.” A good description of the kind of love your husband needs is “unconditional acceptance.” 

Love also means being committed to mutual intimacy in our relationships. There is more to love than sex, but intimacy is part of our command to love our husbands well. 

Stress and overwhelm is life-draining. When women feel exhausted and overwhelmed, the last thing we want to do is have sex. In order to love our husbands well, we must prioritize organizing our schedules, and scheduling time for ourselves so we can give life back to our families. 

Tip: Sit down and look at your calendar. Do you see scheduled time to rest and rejuvenate? If not, schedule it in.

3. We Provide a Better Home Environment. One of my friends is a former Disney Princess Jasmine at Disney World in Orlando, Florida. She said the hardest part about being Jasmine everyday was remembering just because everyday was the same for her, it was an extremely special and exciting day to everyone else. 

As wives and moms, our days can become boring and mundane. Most daily tasks look the same as yesterday.  However, we create the home atmosphere for our husbands and kids. As wives, we have the opportunity to provide a happy, relaxing home environment for our family. Let’s take those extra steps to become our best selves, so we can give our best to our family. 

Tip: Turn on worship music and light a candle. It not only helps you set your mind and heart on Jesus, but it will also help your entire family rest and settle in.

Wife Step: Choose one area of life where you can start becoming more organized in today so you can better care for your family. Make a plan to get more organized and experience more fun and relaxation.

Kristin lives in Huntsville, AL (or Rocket City as the Huntsvillian’s call it) with her husband Tim and two daughters. Kristin and her husband helped start Epic Church in San Francisco, Ca., and are now the lead planters of Essential Church in Huntsville, Al.  

While living and working in San Francisco, Kristin and her husband felt God calling them to Huntsville to start a church for people in the South who no longer believed church was for them.  She’s been married to her best friend and biggest fan, Tim, for ten years. Together they have three beautiful girls.

Before motherhood, Kristin was a Mary Kay director and an aspiring business woman. After years of hard work launching and maintaining a successful career, it all fell apart upon moving across the country. For years after losing her career, Kristin struggled with understanding her value and self-worth. She sought value in other titles, such as being a pastor’s wife, and then eventually a mom. 

Kristin now understands our value doesn’t come from the titles or careers we have. Kristin is a stay-at-home mom who seeks to give her children an ordinary, happy childhood. She seeks to find her value in Jesus each day and teaches her kids to do the same by teaching them scripture and letting them see how God fills our shortcomings. She has found her family’s gifts come to the surface when there is space for simplicity. She loves running, reading, writing, being outdoors, and hiking with her family.