The Tribe of Two

We hear it all the time.  We see it on t-shirts and coffee mugs.  It’s the new anthem of friendship: “Who’s your tribe?”

When I see the word “tribe” I think of the friends God has placed in my life.  These are the people I want to serve well and be a good friend for. And while I am so grateful for the wonderful women who walk alongside me in my journey and keep me focused on the positive, there’s an even more intimate tribe we often overlook.

It’s the tribe of two.  

We are a part of the most significant, important tribe God has placed in our lives, and that is our marriage.

I’m challenged by this because when I think of what defines my tribe of friends, a few key things come to mind.  

My tribe of friends are a source of support and my biggest cheerleaders. But I wonder if I am for my husband.

My tribe of friends are committed and trustworthy. Am I to and for my husband?

My tribe of friends are quick to respond and show grace when we’re having a bad day. Do I do the same for my husband?

My tribe of friends call me out on the areas I can grow. Do I allow my husband to share freely and honestly with me?

My tribe picks me up when I’m down and reminds me of my worth and identity. Do I do this for my husband?

My tribe of friends doesn’t love me based on how I’ve loved them. Am I waiting for my husband to show me love and grace before I show him?

The thing about this unique tribe between husband and wife that is so important is that it needs to be built on the foundation of Christ in order to withstand all that life will throw at it. God’s word tells us about the wise man who built his house upon the rock of God at the core.  This man has a firm and solid foundation. 

But friend, even if your husband doesn’t believe, you can build your life and what you give to your marriage on this solid rock. The sandy foundation of this world will always tell you to not give what you’re not getting, which will never build a stronger marriage. 

While we put so much effort into our tribe of friends, I wonder if we are putting the same amount of effort on our tribe of two?  Are we intentionally drawing closer to our spouses, building a solid foundation underneath our marriages? Or are we walking out our marriages on sinking sand?

Let’s view our marriage as the most important tribe we have, because it is.

Wife Step:  Spend some time with the Lord over the next few days asking Him to reveal to your heart some ways you could strengthen your tribe of two and solidify the foundation on which your marriage is built.  Then take action!

Betty Predmore is an author, speaker, blogger, and ministry leader. Betty has experienced broken homes, divorce, abuse, grief, being a single mother, blended families, and adoption.  Betty uses the broken places and movement of God in her own life to share God’s Word in an inspiring way, sprinkled with honesty, humor, and encouragement, and reflecting the love of Jesus to all she meets. 

Betty is the Founding Director of two community faith-based ministries.  Mom-Sense helps women overcome life struggles through small group classes with biblical curriculum, individual counseling, bibles studies, and other areas of support.  The Imperial Valley Coalition for Life is a pro-life organization that values the sanctity of life and encourages women to choose life by offering various means of support throughout pregnancy and infancy.

Betty has published two devotionals:  Pondering Virtue and Whispered Grace. Betty is honored to be a part of the A Wife Like Me contributor team.  She has also contributed to other publications such as Southern Faith Magazine, Purposeful Life, and Aspiring Woman Magazine.  She is also a contributor for several online Christian blogging sites.

Of all her roles in life, Betty is most honored to be wife to Jim and mama to a brood of 7, which includes biological and adopted children.