A.R.R.I.V.E. at a Better Place in Marriage

Just like traveling to a specific destination, marriage is an intentional journey. On any journey, there are times we need to stop and map out how to get to where we are, and how we want to arrive somewhere different. 

Why?

Because when it comes to marriage, it’s not about “arriving”, it’s about the process of becoming stronger, which requires us to arrive and be present in our marriage each day. 

How can we take the time and care to daily A-R-R-I-V-E in marriage?

A – Advance. To advance means to move forward toward the goal. Each day is a new opportunity to advance your relationship. How? Just like a bank account won’t grow unless you put money into it, your marriage won’t grow without focused input. Pour into our marriage, invest in it, bring it to the top of our priority list to the number two spot under your relationship with God.

Take a minute to define your goals in marriage. Then determine what daily acts are required to move toward your destination and forward in your marriage.

R – Regard. In relationship and fellowship with the Lord, we are able to view our husband as more important than ourselves. It’s not easy in the flesh. That’s why the Lord instructs us to walk in the Spirit (Galatians 5:25). Further, Philippians 2:3 challenges us, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” (NASB). 

When we regard our husband like this, it moves our marriage into a better place – forward. Chances are high that your husband will begin to regard you this same way, if done without expectation of reciprocation.

R – Receive. You can read these words without ever truly showing any heart change in your marriage. It is only when we quiet and slow ourselves to be still with God and His Word that we receive God’s outpouring so we have something of value to give our husband. Spending quality time in God’s Word, prayer, and worship positions our hearts to be filled with the Holy Spirit’s love and guidance, and love others from this overflow.

Unless the Lord fills our cup, we have nothing really substantial to offer our husband. But the overflow from Jesus spills over into our marriage.

I – Invite. How many times, maybe in a given day, do we invite someone to connect on social media or even receive an invitation to connect with others? Or, how intentional are we to schedule lunch, coffee, and chats with friends? 

We can intentionally invite our husband to connect, often and authentically.

Let’s pray the Lord helps us grab moments alone with our husband. Then keep extending that invitation to connect with our hubby on a deeper and more intimate level.

V – Value. 

What we value, we work on. 

What we value, we invest in. 

What we value, we make time for. 

What we value, we honor. 

What we value, we hold dear. 

What we value, we cherish.

And what we value, we take care of.

Value your marriage enough to advance it.

E – Entrust. Google defines entrust as “assign the responsibility for doing something to (someone); put (something) into someone’s care or protection.” An antonym includes “hand over.” 

By entrusting our marriage to the Lord, we release control and put our faith and trust in God’s plan. Regularly and consistently pray, “Lord, I entrust my marriage to Your care. I hand it over to You.” 

Wife Step: Reflect on where you are in your marriage, where you’ve been, and where you want to go. Then, Advance, Regard, Receive, Invite, Value, and Entrust. 

Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader. As an award-winning writer and avid speaker, she loves words and God’s Word. For over a decade, she has balanced the busy life of church ministry with working from her home office in marketing where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday. A blogger, Karen “Girl” Friday engages a community every week, Hope is Among Us. She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media, and is currently working on her first book. Karen’s writing connects family life experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios as women to the timeless truths of Scripture. Vulnerable about her own marriage journey, Karen knows life never gets more real than as a wife. Karen and her husband Mike have two grown children and two grandchildren. The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday.” They owe Monday an apology. Visit her blog at KarenGirlFriday.com