Supporting Your Husband in His Work
It hasn’t always been easy for me to support my husband in his work. My husband is a very hard worker, which I deeply value. But sometimes he struggles with workaholism. So during his busiest seasons, I’ve tended to retaliate by withdrawing my support.
When I don’t support my husband in his work, the tension rises in our marriage. I’ve been known to say a critical or nagging word about his work, and that destroys the peace in our home. At times I’ve held on to resentment when he seemed to put his work before other priorities, and my hurt feelings created wide distances in our marriage.
In our 18 years as a married couple, God has taught me many lessons about supporting my husband in his work.
We see in the book of Genesis that before sin entered the world when Adam and Eve sinned, that our work is a gift from God. They were the first farmers and gardeners, and God wanted them to steward His creation well. They were to govern the earth and the animals with the wisdom and knowledge God gave them.
But after the fall, the curse that fell on Adam (and then transferred to all of us, particularly to husbands) is that his work would be hard. The ground received a curse, and that’s when thorns and thistles began growing in between the fruitful plants. Adam would now have to scratch a living from the earth, sweating and struggling while working (Genesis 3:17-19).
We see many husbands struggle by working too hard, endlessly trying to conquer those thorns and thistles that keep growing. Others focus on the pain and toil of work and simply don’t try hard enough to work.
We wives can be out-of-balance in our approach, too. Some of us nag and badger, and others fail to speak up respectfully, when limits need to be set.
But if we ask for God’s help in supporting our husbands in their work, we will see the fruit of love grow in our marriage.
Here are several ways you can support your husband in his work.
Pray for your husband’s work. Ask God to bless the work of his hands and mind. If he is looking for work, ask God to open doors for him. If he works for someone else, pray that God will help your husband serve faithfully. If he is self-employed, pray that God will continue to provide opportunities for work.
Praise your husband for the work he does. Tell him how much you appreciate his providing for your and your families needs. Thank him for his contribution. If you can praise his work in front of others, that’s even better.
Help him set limits. If your husband needs to be confronted about working too much or not enough, pray, and consult with a Christian counselor before approaching him. Your husband’s identity is closely tied to his work, and it’s too easy to say the wrong thing without intending to do so. You can approach him more effectively by first getting wise counsel.
When we support our husband in their work, we uplift him in his God-given role.
Wife Step: Speak a positive word of encouragement about your husband’s work today. You will lift him up and possibly spark a healthy discussion with this small step.
Sarah Geringer writes about Finding Peace in God’s Word at sarahgeringer.com and is the author of three self-published books. Her book on Christian meditation will be published by Leafwood in late 2019. When she’s not reading or writing, Sarah enjoys painting, baking, gardening and playing the flute. She lives in her beloved home state of Missouri with her husband and three children, right in the heart of prime viewing for the Great Eclipses of 2017 and 2024.
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