Small Steps, Big Progress

Recently I’ve found myself reflecting on what we are doing in our marriages, not just once a year, but consistently, to live more intentionally. I wonder why it is that we tend to set personal goals but often fail to purposefully improve our marriage? Have we decided everything else is worth more effort than the relationship we’ve committed to? 

We likely wouldn’t answer yes, however our intentionality often doesn’t match our follow through.

At the beginning of this year I created a goal sheet, which included spiritual goals, mental health goals, and even fun goals. As I’ve looked back at it, I’ve realized it would hugely bless my marriage if I added each section as it pertains to my marriage, as well. 

But as soon as this thought crossed my mind, the excuses and doubt followed. It’s easy to go for a run to kickstart your fitness goals. I can make the effort to book a counseling appointment for my own mental health. And I can save money each month to take a fun trip if I set my mind to it. But pouring into my marriage doesn’t always feel that calculated.

I want to spend time with my husband but don’t want to spend a lot of money on a date. I want to be intimate with him, but I’m usually exhausted from work. I know there are words of affirmation I need to speak over him, but it feels awkward sometimes.

Did you read that? These excuses and reasons not to create a marriage that is set apart in this world often quiet the chance for progress? Please tell me I’m not alone.

Changing Your Story

We can either continue to come up with excuses for why our marriage is stale, or we can do something about it. If we need to remove some things from our schedules to make more time for our husbands, let’s stop hesitating. If we need marriage counseling, let’s take the next step. If we are missing some laughter in our communication or some fun in the bedroom, let’s take the step to create an environment for that to happen. And if we believe prayer works and God hears us when we cry out, let’s get on our knees.

And sister, let me tell you – if you’re in a situation that feels hopeless or you feel like you’re the only one putting in effort, I see you and I hear you and I’m praying for you. If a list of marriage goals feels incredibly daunting for you right now, just focus on one thing you can do to invest in your marriage and don’t give up. Don’t stop praying.

By courageously choosing to take hold of a stronger marriage by intentionally following through in even small ways, you will experience a stronger marriage. But we have to lean into it and follow God every step of the way. God is the ultimate goal for our marriage. 

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9 

Wife Step: Take 5 minutes right now and create your own goals for your marriage. They can be as simple or in-depth as you want. Pray over them and share them with your husband so you can continue to pour into your marriage together. 

Kaitlin is a wife, author, speaker, and coach who loves words, good coffee, and traveling to new cities. Her favorite places include airports, hotel rooms, and bookstores. Kaitlin and her husband Caleb live in Huntsville, AL and serve at Church of the Highlands. She never meets a stranger and is a sucker for brunch dates. She hopes everyone who meets her sees Jesus in her eyes and feels a little lighter when they leave her presence. You can say hi to Kaitlin on social media at @kaitlinchappellrogers on Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook, @kchaprogers on Twitter, or on her website at kaitlinchappellrogers.com!