All Wives

Perfectly Flawed

July 1, 2022

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By Kendra Roehl

Can you be perfectly flawed and still useful for God? Yes! Here’s how, dear wife.

Perfectly Flawed

Who is someone you’ve read that has encouraged or inspired you? I love this quote from Susie Larson:

“The more we understand that our identity in Christ is continually secure and that no misstep, rejection or judgment could ever change that, the more liberated we become from the opinions of others. As the gap increases between God’s opinions and others’ opinions, we are able to live more freely and are more consumed with the idea that heaven is our home and earth is the place to make him known.” (Uncommon Woman, Susie Larson)

I first read these words several years ago. As someone who was bound by a fear of failure and insecurity regarding others’ opinions of me, they were profound.

All my life I’ve hid my mistakes and ran from failure. Too embarrassed to share with others what I was truly like, I put up a front that everything was fine. I desired so much for others to see me as successful and not as the failure I felt like inside.

Susie’s words were some of the first I read that were truly honest.

I found myself in awe of her openness and her vulnerability to share things that had happened in her life. But instead of assuming she was weak or judging her, all I could think was, “Wow, she’s really brave.” I admired her frankness.

Perfectly Flawed

Perfectly Flawed and Useful for God

As God began to use her words and others to break down my own barriers, I found him calling me to share my story. To name my weaknesses. To tell others of my fears and failures.

As I did, I found something amazing happened. I wasn’t alone. Others began to share their stories too. I could relate to people in a way I never had before, and they could relate more authentically to me.

I’ve realized we all want to be understood, known by another. But how can we be known if we aren’t willing to share honestly? The Bible tells us:

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2 (NLT)

I’ve found comfort in allowing others to carry our burdens as we do theirs. There is a closeness gained only through disclosure. We begin to see others’ humanity just a little bit more. Our hearts soften and our compassion for people increases.

Our willingness to love multiplies. And in doing so, we may not always appear so successful, put together, or perfect. We turn out to be something ever better: We become real. Authentic. Genuine. Perfectly flawed, and still useful for God.

Wife Step: Be willing to be honest about your flaws with a trusted friend, trusting God will use them to encourage her.

Grab our free marriage resources here!

Do it afraid. Kendra Roehl has sought to live out that advice as a social worker, foster parent, mother of five, public speaker and author. Kendra and her husband have become well-known advocates for foster care, taking in over 20 children in six years, and adopting three of them. She continues to care for others on their journeys as a frequent speaker, a founder of The Ruth Experience and an author of several books, including the One Year Daily Acts of Friendship: 365 Days to Finding, Keeping, and Loving Your Friends. You can find her on Instagram and Facebook @theruthexperience

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