One Important Tool for Investing In Your Marriage
I must admit, I’ve thought self-care doesn’t apply to me. After all, I’ve got things under control.
I’m a busy homemaker keeping my home running smoothly.
I’m attending to the needs of my husband and my children.
I’m preparing meals to feed my family.
The house doesn’t clean itself, and I take care of it.
I organize, order, and own the details in and outside of our home.
I am doing just fine and I do not need any help.
I would imagine you can make your own list of reasons why self-care is not for you, why you don’t have the time for self-care, or why you think everything is under control.
When I read Proverbs 31, the passage about the virtuous wife, I see an emphasis on caring for your home and for your family – excellent, worthy things. This passage even refers to the wife not being lazy. In my mind, I put so much pressure on myself to be that virtuous wife that self-care somehow falls into the category of lazy, or even selfish.
However, after exhausting myself many times, I have recognized the hard truth that we all need self-care. Even me. Even the do-ers, the overachievers, and the go-getters.
How is self-care investing in your marriage?
First, it renews your soul. Caring for yourself creates environments where our mind and spirit can be realigned with God’s calming presence and who He’s made you to be. When this happens, we walk closely with our Heavenly Father, and our souls are reminded of and filled with His grace and goodness.
When we care for ourselves, the atmosphere in our homes changes. When we take the time to care for souls, our attitudes and actions are more positive with our husbands, which in return, blesses our home. When we take self-care seriously, it shows in ways big and small and is felt by everyone in our homes – especially our husband.
Self-care can be sprinkled throughout your day. Not all self care looks the same, and can look different in different seasons of your life. Some days, self-care may be as simple as feeding your body what it needs. It might mean a walk around the neighborhood or some yoga in your family room. Self-care could be taking five minutes to reach out to a friend to let her know that it’s a difficult day and you would appreciate prayers. It could also mean getting your calendar out and bringing calmness into chaos with some organizational skills. Self-care can be taking intentional time away to commune with Christ in the craziness of life – whether it’s at your kitchen table or at the beach. Self-care comes in different forms for different seasons.
But please hear this: Self-care is a necessary component to your marriage. If you find yourself easy to anger or frustrated with your husband, reflect on how much self-care you have participated in that day. When self-care is low, grumpiness is high. So if self-care seems selfish to you, I encourage you to view self-care as an investment in your marriage.
Wife Step: Take out a piece of paper and write: 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes, and 1-2 hours, skipping a space between each heading. Underneath each heading, list some self-care ideas that you could do during the allotted amount of time. Tuck this paper somewhere where you can access it easily. Practice looking for ways that you are caring for yourself, scheduling self-care on your calendar if necessary, and remembering by caring for yourself, you are investing in your marriage.
Karen lives in Madison, Alabama with her husband and three children. Karen has served as Preschool and Children’s Pastor and has been involved in women’s ministry for many years leading small groups, making hospital visits, organizing retreats, and encouraging the hearts of women. Karen now blogs at Glimpses of Faith and Struggles. What started out as a way to communicate medical facts has become a place where Karen uses life experiences to encourage others in their life journey. When she’s not busy caring for her family or writing, you might find her cooking or crafting.