How to Make Romantic Getaways a Reality

Our Romantic Getaway

We drove through autumn-colored roads while listening to podcasts, uninterrupted except for stopping to collect a few too many gourmet groceries. We enjoyed dinner out, leisurely savoring our still-warm food without needing to cut anyone’s chicken or wipe anyone’s face. 

Laughter and deep relaxation settled into our bones as we stayed up too late watching movies…and other activities. Then we slept in, went on a jet ski adventure, read books and took walks…and other activities.

It was glorious.

Starting our vacation this way gave us the energy to navigate the tensions that arise when taking a road trip with four children. We were able to push through tough moments with more ease and to celebrate the delightful ones, creating incredible family memories.

Making a Romantic Getaway Possible

If that sounds too good to be true, it’s because this isn’t the first time we’ve prioritized romantic getaways. We went from planning getaways for our anniversary to going away a few times every year. Why?

Because giving ourselves time as a couple, without our kids, always yields fresh perspective and spiritual direction for life decisions, our marriage and our parenting. 

Without the routine busyness of life, we can focus on the one person on Planet Earth whom we chose forever. 

Parents, siblings and children are a gift, not a choice. Friends and co-workers are sometimes circumstantial. But our spouse is the one with whom we choose to live, adventure, laugh and cry with until we’re wrinkled and gray.

My husband and I don’t want to become a statistics couple who barely knows each other after the kids have flown the coop, at best left with the sad remnants of a relationship we didn’t invest in. 

Quite the opposite. 

We want our kids to see how valuable marriage is. We love being parents, but we love being married even more. When our kids find their own marriage adventures, my husband and I might be cruising down cobblestone Italian streets on bright yellow Vespas. Because the adventure of marriage is for life.

Tearing Down the Obstacles to a Romantic Getaway

I hear you, though: A romantic getaway sounds amazing, but there are so many obstacles! 

Let’s take some of these obstacles down, shall we?

Obstacle #1: The kids have never been away from us. 

Remember, there is always a first time for everything. It takes bravery for both parents and kids, and a trusting relationship with the caregivers. 

Start small. Have a long day date while Grandma watches the kids. Consider a one night getaway with the caregiver staying at your house so the kids are in a familiar place. Ultimately, the kids might not entirely love it, but they will be okay. And just maybe, they might love it! Sometimes our kids need a break from us as much as we need the time away. Win-win. 

Obstacle #2: Our kids are too much work for Grandma. 

Be creative. If you have multiple children, consider dividing your kids among a couple family members. Our girls love spending time with their cousins, whereas our boys prefer to be at their grandparents’ house. 

Also, be resourceful. Prepare lunches, activities, and carpools ahead of time. Sometimes you might need to be okay with the kids simply having a different routine while you’re gone. Grandmas and grandpas are notorious for giving kids sugar and letting them stay up late. I promise it will not ruin them forever. 

Obstacle #3: We don’t have the finances for a romantic getaway. 

Sometimes we haven’t either, so we came up with cost effective alternatives, like staycations. While the kids have a sleepover at Grandma’s, you can order take-out, make a fun dessert or watch your favorite movie. You even get to sleep in your own comfortable bed! 

However, our budgets reveal our priorities, so create a budget category for getaways. Look for deals on hotels or Air BnBs. Borrow a friend’s RV. Exchange time at someone’s cabin for a service you can provide (photography, music lessons, babysitting, haircuts, etc.). 

Obstacle #4: We don’t have any childcare options. 

This is tough. When we lived far away from any relatives, we invested a lot of time in the young people at our church. We invited them for dinner and included them in our family activities. Many who were far away from their own families really appreciated this. It wasn’t long before we got to know some of them well enough to trust them with our kids. 

Another thing we have done is plan our getaway near our parents’ location so that the kids can stay with them.

Obstacle #5: Our marriage is in a rough spot.  

A romantic getaway might not sound appealing when you are struggling, and it definitely doesn’t solve the issues that need to be addressed through counseling and healing. But you can trust God in taking a step towards your spouse. 

If he’s open to it, get away and find something you both enjoy doing. It may seem like a drop in the bucket and arguments might arise (because they do for any marriage), but don’t underestimate the power of small acts of love. The Bible says: “Let us not grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9, NIV)

Nothing worth pursuing comes easily. When we were younger we pursued each other, sometimes in silly and foolish ways. It’s time to bring some of that back for the sake of our marriages now. Get away together, have fun, flirt…and other activities.

Wife Step: Pick a date and make a plan! It’s time for a romantic getaway!​

Joy was born and raised in Mexico, but fell in love with a Minnesota guy. More than a decade, many geographical locations, and four kids later, they are currently settled in the city of Minneapolis, MN. Together they love helping couples discover the incredible adventure marriage was intended to be. They have led many marriage small groups, ministries and retreats, but their favorite way to connect with other couples is by simply sharing life together. Although homeschooling, parenting and helping run their vacation rental take up most of her days, Joy is always finding ways to sneak in time for writing, reading, design and coffee with friends. You can find her posting on Instagram @joy.ballard or @theriverlodgemn. Photo credit: Woodford Sisters Photography