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How Humility Can Transform Your Marriage

October 20, 2021

By Jess Robichaud

Humility can transform a marriage in powerful ways. This is my testimony, and I hope it inspires you today, dear wife.

How Humility Transformed My Marriage

When I look back on my marriage issues with my husband…

  • where we were in crisis after five months of marriage
  • when I left
  • where we were in counseling for a number of years
  • where we had to dive deep into our issues

I realize that there was one thing that really made all of the difference for our marriage and for our relationship with God: 


When my husband and I embraced humility and were submissive to the Lord, everything began changing.

The change didn’t happen just by:

  • attending church every Sunday
  • showing up to every counseling appointment
  • making time for date nights or weekend getaways
  • joining a life group
  • or reading books about marriage.

Don’t get me wrong, those things certainly helped, but what it came down to is that the thing that mattered most was humility. 

When our hearts were finally broken enough and soft enough to be in a place of submission, THAT’S when God could work his miracle and heal our marriage. 

Pride Destroys, Humility Heals

Let me be clear, we aren’t perfect. We still struggle with pride. But we tend to find that there is a direct correlation between our pride and the tension in our marriage.

Pride is such a great tool that the enemy can use to divide us, to isolate us, and to convince us that we are right. And it’s a marriage-killer. 

Embrace pride and your marriage will subtly wither away. 

When both a husband and wife embrace humility before the Lord, the result will be a marriage that is defined by grace and unconditional love.

How Humility Can Transform Your Marriage

But how does humility specifically transform our marriages? Here are my observations.

Humility allows us to connect with God.

How can we have a strong relationship with the Lord without cloaking ourselves with humility?

The simple answer? We can’t.

A right relationship with the Lord requires humility.  

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you. James 4:10 (ESV)

Our number one priority in marriage should be the Lord. When we have a strong relationship with the Lord, then our interactions and behaviors are Christ-driven, not us-driven. 

Humility propels us into emotionally healthy marriages.

Humility and love go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. 

Humility breaks down the barriers that pride constructs, allowing us to connect emotionally with our spouses.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Ephesians 4:2 (ESV)

When those barriers are cast aside, then love, grace, patience, kindness, and gentleness can enter, transforming our relationship. 

Humility counteracts pride.

I have a couple of questions for you today…

  1. Where do you see pride seeping into your relationship with the Lord and with your spouse today? 
  2. If there is pride there, what is making it difficult to let go? What’s underneath the difficulty? Is there an unnamed fear? 

These are good questions to continuously ask ourselves. Pride isn’t something that can be torched and then will never come back. Pride has a way of appearing when we least expect it. We need to be vigilant and proactive, daily adopting a soft heart.

If you want a transformed marriage, humility is the key. I pray that God will help you replace pride with humility today.

Wife Step: Ask God and your husband where pride may have seeped into your marriage. Then take steps every day next week to replace pride with humility.

How humility can transform your marriage

Jess is passionate about helping couples have an awesome marriage built on the foundation of Christ. Out of their own marriage struggles, Jess and her husband, Adam, founded Radiant Marriage to challenge and encourage couples towards deep levels of intimacy with each other and with the Lord. Jess is also a marriage and family therapist intern where she walks with couples through trauma to bring healing. Together with her husband, their main goal is to radiate the love of Christ and bring hope to couples in the midst of difficulty.

Do you want to intentionally grow your faith and marriage? If so, we’ve created the A Wife Like Me Collective for you! We’re waiting for you!

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