All Wives

Dear Wife Who Doesn’t Feel Like She Measures Up – Alynda Long

May 29, 2019

Dear Wife Who Doesn’t Feel Like She Measures Up

It’s hard, isn’t it? Feeling like no matter how hard you try, it just isn’t enough. Have you scrolled through the perfect photos of other families on Instagram or Facebook and thought “Why didn’t I think to do that?” or “Why doesn’t my family look that happy?”.


What about hearing stories of other people’s marriages and they seem SO put together? HER husband seems so romantic. SHE works out five days per week. THEIR kids eat all their veggies.


I have, far more time than I’d like to admit.


I was caught in the endless spiral of comparison and it left me exhausted and deflated. I couldn’t compare, so why even try.


This, dear wife, is the enemy whispering lies. He wants us to believe other people’s lives are perfect and we can never measure up.


Thankfully, we don’t have to listen to him or his lies. We have God’s truth on our side and His word says this about us:

  • We are more valuable than many sparrows – Matthew 10:31
  • He has crowned us with glory and honor – Psalm 8:5
  • We have been adopted into His family – Ephesians 1:5
  • We are the heirs of God – Romans 8:16-17
  • We have been saved by Grace – Ephesians 2:8
  • We are more precious than rubies – Proverbs 3:15
  • We are a brand new creation – 2 Corinthians 5:17


When we shed the shackles of comparison, we are free to walk in the only identity that truly matters: daughters of the one true King. Waking each morning with the realization that we are His and our identity lies in Him allows us to focus on Christ instead of our neighbor.  


It’s a daily process, my beautiful sister. Each day I walk in my true identity, the enemies lies fall away more and more. Instead of constantly comparing myself to HER, I realize she has her own struggles. We all do. Nobody’s life or marriage is perfect this side of eternity.


So if you feel like you don’t measure up and feel like everyone around you does, remember you’re not alone. We all are walking in grace from the God of the universe, as we all fall short of ideals and expectations. And that’s okay, dear wife, because we have Jesus on our side.


Wife Step: Open your Bible and find three good things the Lord says about you. Then make sticky notes to place around you to remind you of His truths.

Alynda lives in Dallas, Texas with her husband and their two youngest daughters. She has a heart for God’s people who struggle with fear and anxiety. A redeemed survivor of sexual and physical abuse, she loves sharing God’s healing story with her brothers and sisters in Christ. She is a writer, blogger, encourager, editor, wife, mother, and grandmother. Intensely passionate about helping other women achieve healing from sexual abuse/assault, Alynda serves as a lay leader in a recovery ministry at her home church. She loves speaking with women about the healing the Lord has for them in all areas of their lives. She adores making friends (sometimes to her introverted husband’s chagrin) everywhere she goes. In addition to writing, editing, and maintaining, you may find her at where she writes about understanding God’s great love for us.  She also contributes to various blogs and ministries such as  A member of ACFWWord Weavers, International, and Roaring Lambs, she is completing her first manuscript.

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