Joking Your Husband Into Your Standard of Adulthood

The other day I was driving around town and saw a sign from a local business that said, “Spray bottles are great for training cats….and husbands.” Earlier this week I saw a woman comment on Facebook to a question, “How many kids do you have?” with, “A husband.”

As wives, we hear from culture at large that our husbands need training, are incapable of taking care of themselves, and aren’t good for much. It’s usually masked in humor, like the above sign or Facebook comment, but the statements like these can have huge ramifications. 

Though some might think I’m too critical to view this negatively, I think it reveals how we view, and in turn, treat, our husbands. For the sake of our marriages, the families we’re building, and the generations we’re leading, I hope we will take the time to consider how God desires us to approach the issue.

Our Hearts Shape Our Behavior

Our heart posture toward our husbands directs how we treat our husbands. If we believe, even unconsciously, that our husbands need training or behave more like a child than an adult, we will act in a way that manages or mothers them. Our husbands will feel more like children rather than husbands, and will feel less motivated to tune into the marriage. Small, little demeaning phrases can slowly wear away on the respect our husbands feel from us.

Instead of buying the subtle yet demeaning messages from culture, we can lead in and learn what the Bible has to say.

Ephesians 5:33 says, “However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” This respect honors our husbands in both thought and word. That phrase I mentioned above, and so many others, don’t honor them. 

Living This Out

Even if your husband does act immaturely or not “up to our standards,” it’s important that you handle it in a respectful way. Respect looks like kind discussion with encouragement and humility–not as though we are the standard to live by. While there are things you likely do differently than your husband, you don’t have to berate or criticize him as a child for it. 

A mature and wise woman will share her opinion kindly, and how she believes it affects herself and the family, and ask for clear suggestions for help,  instead of joking him into my standard of adulthood. This gentle invitation respects that he is an adult who can grow, change, or choose to live how he believes is good. 

Husbands, even imperfect ones, work so hard for their wives and their families, and should be shown respect both in word and in our hearts. 

Wife Step: Think about how your words reflect your heart attitude towards your husband this week. Do your words reveal that you respect and honor him, or otherwise?

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​Meagan Elling is a wife of 7 years to Reed, mama to two little girls, writer, and house renovator. She is a SAHM {I’ll let you decide if you want this spelled out or not} in Duluth, MN with a writing degree she thought would go to waste. She is passionate about encouraging women, ministry, traveling, reading 5 books at once, and Texas Roadhouse bread. Meagan writes at www.meaganelling.com and on Instagram @meaganelling.