When Your Thoughts Are All Negative About Your Husband

Bad information is looming all around us and within us.  

You know, those thoughts that rumble through your mind?  My husband never cleans up his dirty clothes.  He never does the dishes.  He doesn’t help with the kids homework. My husband is not romantic like the husbands on TV or in the books I read. The list can go on and on.  

What we do with these thoughts is important.  

When we take this bad information and let it linger in our hearts, it quickly becomes all we see.  Soon, one small annoyance is the worst marriage ever. 

I learned a long time ago in my marriage that if I focused on what I thought were my husbands’ shortcomings, then these shortcomings are all I would see, and my marriage suffered.  

So what can we do to keep bad information from holding real estate in our hearts?

As hard as it can be sometimes, focusing on the things you love about your husband and all the good that he brings is essential.  At first it can feel challenging, but after training your brain to thankfulness, you won’t be as likely to see the things that drive you crazy. Your husband will become more of a man you’re grateful for rather than someone who annoys you. 

We can also make an effort to think about our husband’s perspective, rather than just on our own. Would we want our husband focusing on our shortcomings and things that drive him nuts or do we want him focusing on the things he loves about us? 

So how does this translate into everyday, practical solutions?  When situations arise where we notice we are focusing on the bad, we can take a deep breath and refocus our thoughts. We can get quiet and pray for our throughts, for our husband, and our marriage. Instead of focusing on what is annoying us, we can choose to focus on something we love about our husband.  We can continually work to ask ourselves, will this matter tomorrow?  If it doesn’t, then we can let it go. If it does, after prayer, and aligning our thoughts with the word of God, then we can trust God to give us the right time and approach to respectfully share with our husband.

“Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Proverbs 16:26

We choose our thoughts and words about our marriage and our husband. Let’s choose kindness and love when we think about our husband and our marriage.  

Wife Step: Take some time and remember some of the things you loved about your spouse when you first met and fell in love with him.  Focus on those things when you start to hear the bad information in your mind.

Tracy is married to the love of her life and best friend, Darrin. Together they have two beautiful children, Victoria and Edward and two puppies, Tripp and Zoey. She loves spending time at the beach, reading, and a great cup of coffee!

Tracy is passionate about helping women discover their God-given identity and unleashing their influence.  Visit her blog at tracyherbener.com and find her on Instagram, Facebook , Pinterest or Twitter.