When You Lose Your Fun and Adventurous Spirit as a Wife

Adventurous.

It described me in my younger days, even though I’ve never really enjoyed roller coasters or spur-of-the moment adventures. Back then, friends often stirred up my adventurous side by coaxing me into spontaneous trips or ideas that resulted in loads of fun.

I really was fun and adventurous…seriously.  Like the way I traveled to Virginia Beach, Virginia; Zimbabwe, Africa; and Redlands, California. I spent every summer in college on a mission project with CRU, Campus Crusade for Christ. Whoa, on an adventure in life with Jesus and glad of it!  

So when my husband and I were dating and first married, adventure still lived in my heart. Yet, something happened along the way.

Life happened. The daily grind, jobs, responsibilities, kids/parenting, extended family, running a home, and even growing tired of simple things like What’s for dinner?

Can you relate? All these common tasks and roles in life and marriage have the potential to drain the fun and adventure right out of our wife-heart. And it affects the fun and adventure with our husband.

Just like in college, when I considered myself on an adventure in life with Jesus…

Marriage is doing life together, on an adventure with each other.

I desire to get back the fun and spontaneous spirit I used to have as a wife. Because…

As wives, we could all use a little more of an adventurous spirit, not only in marriage, but also in life.

So how do we regain and enjoy an adventurous spirit in our marriage?

1. 1. Make room in my heart for my husband’s heart. Ask: What makes his heart beat? What passions drive him? Discover the answers and try to make them happen.
   2. Make room in my spirit for my husband’s spirit. The saying, “I’m with you in spirit” means when we can’t be with a person, we will be thinking about them, wishing them the best. It’s the same with our husband. We desire to be with him and we think about him. Everything about our husband in a non-physical way is his spirit for life. And we make this part of our spirit for life as his partner in life.
   3. Make room in my life for my husband’s adventures. I show my husband that I want his adventures to be my adventures. In the things he enjoys, I’m all in. (For my husband it’s outdoor activities, day trips, going to the mountains, or camping.) Sure, there may be times his adventures will be with his male friends. But I make sure he knows I want to be included in this part of his life.

• Make room in my life for fun and adventure. Reflect on the adventurous girl and wife I used to be. Ask my husband what he remembers or used to see in me, and how we can work together to create more spontaneous fun in our marriage.

Wife Step: Pray and ask the Lord to help you with these four areas so adventure describes your marriage once again. “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy;  at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11, ESV

Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader. As an award-winning writer and avid speaker, she loves words and God’s Word. For over a decade, she has balanced the busy life of church ministry with working from her home office in marketing where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday. A blogger, Karen “Girl” Friday engages a community every week, Hope is Among Us. She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media, and is currently working on her first book. Karen’s writing connects family life experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios as women to the timeless truths of Scripture. Vulnerable about her own marriage journey, Karen knows life never gets more real than as a wife. Karen and her husband Mike have two grown children and a grandson. The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday.” They owe Monday an apology.

Visit her blog at KarenGirlFriday.com