Dear Wife Working on Everything But Your Marriage

I am a hard-worker by nature. My parents raised me to always give 110% at everything I do. I’ve worked hard to finish my college degree, to hold a successful job with NASA, and now build my own business in the insurance industry. I have no problem dedicating time and energy pouring into work and my dreams so I can reap the rewards.

So why does my marriage get the shaft when it comes to hard work? Why am I disappointed in the results in my marriage when I haven’t put in the same time or energy?

1 Corinthians 15:58 “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” (ESV)

It’s natural to apply this to tasks or careers we hold. But this verse doesn’t just apply to the work we do at our nine-to-five or in our homes or to reach our goals. Being steadfast and immovable are Christ-like qualities we should aim for in all of our relationships, especially our marriages. When we are steadfast and immovable, we keep fighting and stand strong in our marriages, even when it’s hard. We don’t let the little things knock us down and we don’t let the big things take us out.

When the world screams at us to work tirelessly in our career title of nurse, work at home mom, dental assistant, volunteer, secretary, or any other job we may hold, how can we be steadfast and immovable in our marriages? How can we be wives who work on our marriages? What might this look like?

It is holding our tongues when we want to complain about our husbands leaving their underwear lying around–again.

It is praying for your husband every day, not for how you want him to change, but for how God wants to use him.

It is initiating intimacy with him, maybe even several days in a row.

It is intentionally thinking about what you’re thankful for about your husband, and sharing these things with your husband each day.

It is prioritizing your husband in your schedule over even your children, your friends, or your extracurricular activities.

It is speaking scripture over the life you’ve built together in the morning and at night.

Through making a million small choices, you will start to build a steadfast and immovable work ethic in your heart, and you will see your marriage flourish.

Put your good days under a microscope so you can see what they’re made of. And then duplicate the discipline of working on your marriage over and over again.

Maybe you’re reading this and you’re walking through the worst season of your marriage. Maybe your husband isn’t participating in bettering the relationship. God sees you and feels the pain with you. He hears your prayers and will answer them in His beautiful way, in His perfect timing. And He can speak to your husband’s soul too. Keep pressing. Keep fighting. Marriage is sacred and satan hates it. You have the victory because our sweet Jesus defeated death on a cross.

Looking for a tangible way to work on your marriage? Grab your copy of Dear Wife: 10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection with Your Husband, here!

Wife Step: Put in work to make your marriage strong. Cut out the complaints and choose compliments every day this week. Write down the compliments and your husband’s reactions in a journal and reflect on them next week.

Kaitlin is a newlywed striving to be a strong half of a Kingdom team with her hunk of a husband. She is a lover of words, good coffee, and exploring new cities. Her favorite places include airports, hotel rooms, and bookstores and she has yet to meet a stranger she doesn’t like. Kaitlin is addicted to shopping, yoga, and brunch and couldn’t make it a single day without her dream-supporting family and best friends. She hopes everyone who meets her sees Jesus in her eyes and feels a little lighter when they leave her presence. You can say hi to Kaitlin on social media at @kchaprogers on Instagram and Twitter, @kaitlinchappellrogers on Facebook, or on her website at kaitlinchappell.com!