The First 3 Questions Every Wife

Should Ask When It’s Hard

A day rarely goes by that I don’t field a call, email, or message from a wife who is struggling or just plain frustrated in her marriage.

After explaining her situation, I almost always respond by asking these three questions:

1. Where are you at with God right now?

2. Are you in God’s word regularly?

3. Have you prayed about this?

Usually, simply by asking these questions, wives have what they need to see the situation differently, or at least get back on track with what will actually help. 

But when our hearts are hurting and our issues seem so big, these three questions are not what we think to ask.  That’s why I try to ask myself these questions often.

When there is a disconnect between myself and God, it’s because I haven’t made time for Him. I’ve been too busy to invest in our relationship and in turn, everything else suffers. I’m more easily irritated with my husband, I have a negative attitude, I’m ungrateful, and disrespectful.

Even if my mind is focused on the presence of God in my heart but I haven’t sat down to open my bible and take in God’s Word, I suffer. I notice the same deterioration in my heart if my mind has not been soaking in His Word.

And naturally, stewing on frustration is easier and feels better short term than giving it to God in prayer. What a difference prayer makes in our hearts and marriages.

These were the three questions I needed the most when I was struggling in my own marriage. Let’s be wives who are quick to ask ourselves these questions and ask these questions to the wives we love.

Wife Step: Write down these three questions and post them where you’ll see them often.

Amanda Davison is on a mission to share how her education in counseling and God’s word changed her life and marriage. Her goal is to transform marriages through the hearts of wives by inspiring wives to live convinced of God’s love and love others from this awesome overflow. She is The Wife Coach, Founder of A Wife Like Me, a Speaker, and Author. She works as the Director of Assimilations at The Naz church in Fergus Falls, MN, where her and her husband lead the Marriage Mentor Team. Her favorite ministry is inside her home where she is the wife to a farmer and mom to three. She looks forward to hearing from you and hopes you will join with her on the journey of learning to love God’s people well.