7 Ways to Fight for Your Marriage
I lay crumpled up in the tear-soaked, worn sheets of our bed, wondering if my marriage would survive.
My marriage had just been struck a heavy, devastating blow. Divorce seemed imminent and likely the only option. Yet, it’s not what I wanted.
I didn’t want to live without the man I had been with for the past 15 years. I didn’t want to lose the memories. I didn’t want to say good-bye to the only person who has really ever fully known me. I didn’t want my precious daughters to live two separate lives—one with me, and one with him.
I wanted to fight for my marriage. The only problem was, I felt weak. I didn’t know how to fight, and I didn’t know if I could fight.
Today, I’m grateful that my husband and I learned how to fight. We’ve been married for over 27 years and looking back, at the time, even though I had no idea what I was doing, there were certain things we did that literally saved our marriage.
If your marriage is broken, you’re probably not sure what to do. Whether it is infidelity, financial burdens, estranged children, work stress, family relationships, or whatever it is…I encourage you to FIGHT for your marriage.
Here are 7 ways you can fight for your marriage:
- Understand your enemy. In order to win in battle, you must be the strongest of your opponent. You must also predict and understand his moves. The enemy IS out there, trying to destroy you and your family. He’s prowling around like a lion, seeking whom he may devour. And he will, if you allow it. You must understand this, take up your armor, and FIGHT.
- Focus on the person you’re fighting for, not the person you’re fighting with. Remember the person you married. What are his good qualities? His strengths? And remember the good times. Fight for the good times!
- Choose your words wisely. You can’t take your words back. You can apologize, but the words will always be there. When others hurt us, we want to hurl emotion-filled words their way. It feels good, right? But it’s only a temporary fix that leads to more pain. Proverbs 10:19 – Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. So, shut yo mouth, my friend. Save those words for when you’re alone in your car, and then curse the devil, because that’s who your fighting against. We fight not against flesh and blood but the dark forces around us. This scripture isn’t only for that annoying co-worker that is trying to get your job, or that one friend who tries to one-up you at every turn. It’s as much or more for your spouse.
- Seek professional counseling. By all means, seek professional, Christian counseling. If you truly, truly want to repair your marriage, you must put away the pride, decide that it’s worth the cost, and consider counseling. This was HUGE for our restoration. If you don’t know any counselors in your area, call a church in your area and ask for referrals. You can do this anonymously. A wise man listens to counsel –Proverbs 12:15
- Don’t compare your marriage with others’ marriage. Every marriage has had or will have struggles. It’s just life. If you see another seemingly happy couple, don’t compare. (Who knows what they’ve gone through, or will go through.) When you compare, it puts too great of expectations on your own marriage and it just isn’t healthy. Mind your business, and focus on your own marriage.
- Be patient. Know that your marriage will more than likely not be repaired overnight. Marriage is hard work. It’s not for the weak. But it’s the most rewarding. If you put the hard work into restoring your marriage, you will, in turn, be rewarded with a happy, authentic, lovely marriage. Just take one day at a time.
- Pray. It’s typical, I know. But, it’s not the quantity of your prayers, it’s the quality. Praying often is necessary, yes. But there are times when our marriage is so broken, we don’t know how to pray. You don’t have to pray big, eloquent prayers. God hears our prayers, period. He hears the words coming out of your mouth.
Wife Step: Print this post and keep it somewhere in your house where you’ll often see it.
Shannon Geurin is a wife, mother, writer and speaker; but most of all she’s a fighter. She has learned what it takes to fight for her marriage and family. She is deeply passionate about empowering women to rise up through their circumstances and fight in order to find their greatest calling. Shannon loves serving an actively engaged “Fiercely His” community via her website www.shannongeurin.com. Her authentic, genuine style and courage to speak the truth is a breath of fresh air to her readers and is one of her greatest qualities. An Oklahoma girl at heart with the accent and “y’alls” to prove it, she currently resides in the beautiful mountains of Colorado. She graduated with a nursing degree from the University of Oklahoma, but spends her time sipping coffee, writing and doing what she loves most, taking care of her crazy family. Shannon has been married for more than 25 years to her husband John, and is Mom to two spirited daughters, Alex and Averee.