4 Powerful Tools to Improve Communication
With Your Husband – Misty Phillip
My husband and I haven’t always been the best communicators with one another. Early in our marriage I would get upset because I somehow expected him to know what I needed, what I was thinking, or how I was feeling, although I never verbalized it.
Can you relate?
At times we have exchanged sharp words and have been unkind to one another. He would ask me if I was okay, and I would curtly say, “I’m fine!” However, we both knew I was anything but fine.
Lack of communication or misunderstood communication is the root of many problems in marriage. This is why good communication is crucial to happy, healthy marriage.
Here are four powerful tools to improve communication with your husband.
- Be attentive, be present, and listen. Ladies you all know that as women we have no problem with words and we are great at multitasking. But if our husbands have been out in the world working all day, he may have used up a considerable number of his words already for the day. If he is speaking to us, we should pay attention. When your husband wants to talk to you, stop what you are doing and focus your attention on him.
- Be honest with your feelings. Don’t assume your spouse knows how you feel. Kindly share what you are thinking and how you are feeling. Sometimes we assume our husband knows what we need or how we feel, when in actuality, they don’t. Slow down and clearly share your heart in a respectful tone.
- Set up a weekly time of communication. On the weekends my husband and I make time every week to pull out our calendars and discuss the upcoming weeks events. Intentional weekly time to communicate allows us to get on the same page. He knows if I need him to be home with the kids so I can go out to Bible Study or go out with the girls. I know he won’t be able to make the practice or game, because he has a dinner meetings. This is in addition to having a shared calendar. This has been one of the most helpful tools we have implemented for communication in our relationship.
- Attempt to connect before communicating. If hearts feel connected, there are less barriers to communication. We often overlook or dismiss the need to first connect so that we can communicate. For you and your husband this might look like first eating a meal together, sitting next to each other while reading and holding hands, being intimate, a scheduled date night, or sharing a funny story. Connection grows deeper through healthy communication, but often what is needed before healthy communication is deeper connection in another format. Think through how you and your husband can connect that might not involve communication, and let us know how it improves lines of communication in your marriage.
It took time for me to learn to communicate what I was thinking and feeling, and he had to learn to be a better listener. Figure out what works best for you and your spouse. We all have different communication styles. Do what you find works best for you and your husband. The most important thing is that you find ways to be open and honest with your spouse in a respectful and loving way. Effective communication is key to a happy marriage.
Wife Step: Complete Step 4!
Misty Phillip is an author, blogger, and speaker. Misty believes a woman’s highest calling is to love God and make him known, by loving and serving her family and others with her God-given gifts and talents.
Misty is married to the love of her life and best friend, Peter Phillip, and together they have three amazing young men and are blessed with a precious daughter-in-law. Misty left her corporate career to homeschool her boys. As her boys have grown she began a new season of writing and speaking.
In 2011 Misty became involved in the pro-life movement speaking for Texas Right to Life soon after her son Liam was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. This life changing event launched Misty into the pro-life movement. Recently, she has joined Save the 1 as a National Pro-life speaker. Misty shares devotions on Christian Living, Faith, Home, Family and the books she loves at MistyPhillip.com– By His Grace – Seek Jesus, Study the Word, & Grow in Grace.