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When Vulnerability Leads to Deep Friendship

October 16, 2022

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By Heather Logan

How do you find a deep friendship that will last? Vulnerability is key.

Friendships can be complicated and painful. But when you find a friend who walks through the good and the bad of life alongside you, one who challenges and encourages you to be the person God made you to be, it is one of the greatest gifts in life. Just like a healthy marriage, a great friendship requires a lot of intentionality, hard work, openness and vulnerability. 

When Vulnerability Leads to Deep Friendship

Friends can come along in the most unexpected places.

I met my best friend at a park almost four years ago. I was quite the scene waddling around chasing my 2-year-old daughter who was also chasing and trying to hug another 2-year-old girl whom we didn’t know. 

Thankfully that little girl’s mom was gracious and we began to talk. It didn’t take long for us to discover that we went to the same college, graduated and got married the same year, and had our first three children all within a month of each other. 

I walked away from that time feeling so excited about a friendship. But in my head I thought, “if we are meant to be friends, we will run into each other again.” 

Yet I didn’t plan to reach out to her because I didn’t want to look desperate and scare her away. 

Don’t be afraid to take the first step of vulnerability.

Friendships require risk. Sometimes you may get hurt, but that doesn’t mean we are meant to keep to ourselves and push others away. 

It didn’t take me long to change my mind and message her later that day. I realized that sometimes depth of relationship requires vulnerability. Someone needs to take the first step. 

Fast forward almost four years and that friendship has been one of my greatest blessings God has ever given. 

The blessing didn’t come because I reached out to her. The blessing came because we both chose to share our lives with one another. We have both opened up our hearts in the good and bad. Allowing ourselves to be real has given us both a safe place to be known and loved for who we are, not who we appear to be. 

When we allow others to challenge us, we will see growth.

One of my favorite verses about friendship comes from Proverbs 27:17 NIV: “As one iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

When we allow those close friends into the deepest part of our hearts, they can see and challenge things we otherwise may overlook. When we allow them to speak into those areas, we can become stronger and more Christ-like. 

We are refined when we create a space of vulnerability and openness with those whom we can trust. Growth can truly only come when we allow others into the hard spaces of life. 

In order to have lasting friendships you have to find the right people and be willing to open up a part of yourself. It can be scary to be vulnerable, but the reward is far greater than the risk. 

It doesn’t need to be a huge step of vulnerability – just take baby steps and pray along the way. God will help you use vulnerability to find the deep friendship you seek.

Wife Step: Take one step of vulnerability this week to pursue a deeper friendship.

Grab our free marriage resources here!

Heather is passionate about Jesus, marriage, motherhood, and writing. She and her hubby have 5 kiddos, are enjoying their 2nd decade of marriage, and love being part of the local church. There’s really no such thing as “free time” but if there is a spare moment you’ll likely find Heather writing. She is currently putting the editing touches on her first book and has her sights set on authoring many more. Her love for coffee is strong, and her favorite way to enjoy her caffeine is during a conversation getting to know someone better. Heather’s passion is to encourage women in their pursuit of Jesus in all areas of life.

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