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By Kelly Basham

Is the fear of looking silly holding you back from a deeper friendship with your husband, deeper freedom, or intimacy with God?

The fear of looking silly can hold us back.

About a year ago, I purchased one of those language programs that teach you to speak a new language. When it arrived, my husband suggested that we do this activity together because he thought it would be a fun experience for us to share. 

I wanted to enjoy learning a new language with my husband, but something was holding me back. 

Every time he would ask me when we were going to start, I would have another excuse. 

“Let’s wait until after this busy season we’re in is over, or let’s wait until we get started on the other project first, ” I would say. 

While pondering why I was filled with dread every time he brought it up, I remembered a familiar verse from scripture. Proverbs 29:25 NIV says, “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” The fear of others’ reactions and views of us can become a pitfall if we don’t deal with them. 

Deep down, I realized I was worried I would mess up and look ridiculous trying to speak a new language in front of my husband. Concerned I would fail and that he would think less of me, I tried to avoid learning something new with him. 

We can trust God to help us move past our fears.

When we let the fear of looking silly rule our hearts, we miss out on sweet friendship-building opportunities with our husbands. Sharing new experiences together is a fantastic way to build a friendship. But if our fears stop us from experiencing those things, we miss out on opportunities that could strengthen our friendship. 

The dread of what others think can hold us back from so many things. But as Proverbs 29:25 reminds us, those who trust God are safe. Rather than clinging to our fear of what others might think of us if we don’t execute something flawlessly, we can trust God and bring those trepidations to him. When we do, he will help us move past them.

Admitting our apprehension can help loosen its grip.

Once I realized why I avoided starting this activity with my husband, I decided to be honest with him about why I was putting off starting the language program. When I was open with my husband, I was no longer afraid of messing up in front of him. I felt free to enjoy learning a new language with him.

It wasn’t easy to admit my fears, but being truthful with God, myself and my husband about my apprehensions and worries helped me. If the fear of looking silly has a grip on you and prevents you from partaking in new experiences with your husband, spend some time with God and ask him to help you work through your apprehensions. 

Then, if you feel comfortable enough to do so, share what’s in your heart and on your mind with your husband. With God’s help and your concerns out in the open, you’ll find it easier to move forward and begin participating in new activities with your husband. 

Let’s not let the fear of looking silly stop us from experiencing something new with our husbands. We may not do it perfectly, and yes, we may mess up, but the opportunity to build on our friendship with our husbands is an invaluable experience we don’t want to miss. 

Wife Step: The next time you are worried that you will look silly or fail at attempting something, take a chance and try something new.

Grab our free marriage resources here!