What Hallmark Movies Taught Me About Marriage

Eyes glued to the screen, the movie captured my heart’s attention. 

It’s what my heart was tempted to be hooked on: A storyline of love beating the odds, while fulfilling many of my own desires and dreams about love.

These Hallmark movies are a kind of escape from reality, even if just for a few moments.

But here’s the big difference between the movies and our own reality: There’s always a happy ending on Hallmark movies. Always.

Then soon, if we aren’t careful, we compare the happy endings with our own reality and the result is disappointment. 

I wanted an even closer look at what happened in my heart and mind as I watched these shows, so I watched another Hallmark movie and made some mental notes of how it affected me.

And this is what I found.

In this particular film, a young couple planned their upcoming wedding at a beautiful venue. While there were glitches in the wedding plans, extended family issues, and miscommunication between the bride and groom, all was finally good in the universe as they worked out each issue. 

I couldn’t help but think about the message this sends to the many couples experiencing or who will experience glitches in marriage or family. Such as a miscommunication between them and their husband and if it doesn’t end well? What then?

Also, I discovered my heart getting caught up in the beginning stages of romance. How sweet as I remembered when my husband and I were young, in love, and the initial stages of our blossoming relationship. And then, thinking about how different we are today.

Rather than appreciating how far we’ve come and how much we’ve grown as a couple, I get all starry-eyed and wrapped up in the lives and love of these two people who aren’t even in a real relationship and who are only playing the part. 

In reflecting on my mental note-taking, here are the lessons the Lord seemed to whisper to my heart and that I believe He wants us all to know:

1. Along with years passed and wrinkles formed, we can grow in wisdom and strength in our marriage when we look to the Lord and ask for help.
2. First love isn’t the only sweet love. Love that extends over years and decades through struggles and triumphs, heartache and heart-felt moments, fosters the sweetest love ever. This love withstands the bitter parts of marriage to make it through to the better parts of marriage.
3. Young love is exciting, fresh, and hopeful. But it can also be naive and restricted and not vulnerable for fear we might lose it. Love that ripens over time can prove to be more stable and secure.
4. Mature love develops through openness, vulnerability, and trust. It’s seasoned love that’s wonderful on another level—something to celebrate! We rewind the tape to say, Look at us. Look how far we’ve come. Look how much we’ve grown despite all the obstacles and mistakes that could have held us back. But we moved forward despite all that.

Dear wife, let’s become more aware of the messages being sent from what we’re watching or noticing. Let’s be careful not to twist the mature love in our marriage into comparable fictional stories. 

Your marriage is a beautiful story written from above, so don’t let anything or anyone tell you otherwise.

Wife Step:  Spend time in soul-searching about how you view love in your marriage. Then ask the Lord to replace any unrealistic desires with His views on real love. Pray by thanking God for how your love as a couple has overcome obstacles and hard seasons. 

Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader. As an award-winning writer and avid speaker, she loves words and God’s Word. For over a decade, she has balanced the busy life of church ministry with working from her home office in marketing where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday. A blogger, Karen “Girl” Friday engages a community every week, Hope is Among Us. She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media, and is currently working on her first book. Karen’s writing connects family life experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios as women to the timeless truths of Scripture. Vulnerable about her own marriage journey, Karen knows life never gets more real than as a wife. Karen and her husband Mike have two grown children and two grandchildren. The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday.” They owe Monday an apology. Visit her blog at KarenGirlFriday.com