What Autofill Taught Me About Being a Wife

No matter what web browser we use, most have developed programs on our devices to enable autofill. Also known as autocomplete.

It automatically populates fields like our name, email, mailing address, and sometimes credit card information. A great time saver, our browsers store this data and repopulate it for later use. What’s not to love!

But since this mindset of ease and comfort and fast is popular and can be helpful  in our culture, we must protect our heart from this same thinking in our marriage.

I’ll be the first to admit that nothing about my marriage or my role as a wife feels automatic.

I often struggle to fill in the barren spots in my marriage or my role as a wife, wondering if I’ll ever “get it right.” I think someday it might become easier to set the dial to automatic. And I wish my husband and I felt we automatically completed each other, all the time and in every way.

Can you relate?

We will never complete each other in an automatic way, because that is Jesus’s job. Yet, we do have a part to play.

A good marriage requires work and isn’t “auto” anything. And God never intended automatic, autofill, or autocomplete to describe marriage. Rather, when it comes to building a strong marriage, I discovered it isn’t easy and fast, or simple with comfort.

Through Christ’s work in us, we put forth the effort for a solid marriage. 

You see, less for quicker results won’t pan out here. Our wife-role often takes every bit of our energy and strength from the Lord. Yet, the work is worth the elbow grease.

We build a strong marriage one brick at a time on a sure foundation. Jesus.

A strong marriage and growing in our role as a wife requires the correct data. God defines marriage. He ensures that if we incorporate His data in marriage, our outcome looks better.

We may think the world offers the data we need—packaged in colorful paper and a tied with a beautiful bow. But statistics show us otherwise.

Instead, we can use the program the Lord developed for marriage – His word – because He is the best developer on the planet, hands down.

Resting in our God-given role, wives:

• See past the faults of our husband.
• Constantly and consistently forgive any ways our husband hurts us.
• Stay intentional about an intimate relationship.
• Love, respect, and build up our husband.
• Pray for wisdom to meet our husband’s needs—the ones we were created to meet.

“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:13-14, NLT)

Wife Step: Pray this prayer with me. Lord, remind my heart that You created the institution of marriage and You have the right data to make it strong and good. Empower me with Your strength in my role as a wife and to never fall into the trap of autofill. Amen.

Karen Friday is a pastor’s wife and women’s ministry leader. As an award-winning writer and avid speaker, she loves words and God’s Word. For over a decade, she has balanced the busy life of church ministry with working from her home office in marketing where she is frequently referred to as Girl Friday. A blogger, Karen “Girl” Friday engages a community every week, Hope is Among Us. She has published a number of articles and devotions in both print and online media, and is currently working on her first book. Karen’s writing connects family life experiences, Christian ministry, and real life scenarios as women to the timeless truths of Scripture. Vulnerable about her own marriage journey, Karen knows life never gets more real than as a wife. Karen and her husband Mike have two grown children and a grandson. The entire family is fond of the expression, “TGIF: Thank God it’s Friday.” They owe Monday an apology.

Visit her blog at KarenGirlFriday.com