The Secret to Dating in Marriage During Busy Seasons

Early in marriage, life brought weekends sprinkled with creative dates:  an intentional afternoon hike in the mountains, a relaxing drive downtown to our favorite local restaurant, or the last minute dash to a movie followed by a late night cup of coffee with dessert.  

We found it easy to follow Paul’s words in our marriage from Romans 12:10, “Be devoted to one another in love.  Honor one another above yourselves.” (NIV)

And then, we blinked… and there they were: Four wonderful, busy, time-intensive children.

Suddenly our spontaneity and carefree evenings were replaced with ballet lessons, softball practice, and carpool for out-of-town games. When time wasn’t an issue, we lacked mental energy or sleep deprivation took priority.

Did it happen to you?  Did you blink, too?

Intentional afternoon hikes replaced by accidental meeting in the garage.

Creative ideas replaced by boring realities of schedules.

Relaxing downtown drives became drive-throughs on the way to…

Last minute dashes to a movie turned to a DVD rental with the crew piled on the couch with popcorn.  

Reality of grabbing a minute or two of conversation while cleaning up the kitchen before bath time was clearly NOT counted as the treasured date night we had so cherished just years earlier.  

Reality becomes our biggest challenge in marriage.

Because of the lack of connection, I knew we needed to get creative.  Excitement emerged: How about a date on the deck after the kids are in bed?  We agreed we would “count” that as half a date!  How about grabbing a cup of coffee and conversation before I headed to afternoon preschool carpool, and he headed to a lunch meeting?  Yes, that could be the other half a date!  Intentionality, we were planning ‘new’ dates.

The secret to dating when life is so busy is getting creative with your schedules.

How can you get creative with the schedules in your family?

Does something need to ‘go’ for you to ‘get’ in time together? Do electronics need a time-out on Friday evenings? Can you meet 30 minutes early for an appointment with coffee in hand? Are there friends who can swap pickups that spare an hour for dinner together?

Dating your husband doesn’t have to be a distant memory. Although it may require more effort and planning, it is possible to plan special time with your husband. Reflect on your schedule and get creative for the sake of your marriage. Make a plan for a date and let us know what you plan!

Wife Step:  Today, look at your schedule and think outside the box to plan a date night with your husband this week! Bonus points if you keep this a weekly scheduled date!

Saying yes to Jesus in walking by faith has charted an unexpectedly challenging, joy-filled journey for Susan Wilder. From preschool teacher to writer, speaker, blogger, her sweetest moments come through encouraging women to seek God first and realize the hope we have in following Jesus. Tender love for her husband, Frank, daughters Katie, Kellie, and Mollie, son Clay, sons-in-law Chris, Tim and Tolliver drive her hobbies of cooking and reading. The title of Mimi to four grandboys is more precious than ever imagined. Just ask, she’ll tell you all about them. Susan currently serves as the Women’s Ministry Leader at Southeast Christian Church (Crestwood Campus) in Louisville, Kentucky.  Blog: www.byfaithandcoffee.com