By Joy Lowery
Has there ever been a time where you responded too quickly and immediately knew you were wrong? You were speaking words of impact that weren’t received well.
You are not the only one to which this has ever happened. Naturally, when you are feeling defensive or offended, you may bite back with your words. You are human as anyone else, yet you can learn to speak words of impact that are positive.
Remember the saying, “Every action does not require a reaction”? I have been there. There were moments within my marriage where my spouse was not getting the last word and sometimes, the first word either.
I needed to learn how to choose my words wisely. I needed to remember that my words have a great impact on my husband. Whether you think so or not, your words can have either a negative or positive impact on your spouse. Take a moment to think about your next reaction; What will I say? How will I say it? Am I responding from a place of love?
To Say It or Not to Say It
In marriage you will have many agree-to-disagree moments. There will be times where you feel the need to defend yourself from the lack of understanding. In those moments, you may feel the “just say it” urge rather than the wiser “now is not the time.”
The word of God gives guidance on the areas where you may need the most help. James 1:19 says, “Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving];” (AMP) Everything does not require a response right then and there. Sometimes you need to wait until later to respond or just not at all.
Three Ways of Speaking Words of Impact
Here are three ways you can speak words of impact that are life-giving.
- Practice active listening.
When choosing your words, it makes all the difference to actively listen to what the other person is saying. Do not pick and choose words, however, hear every word. In doing that, you will receive the most clear and accurate version of what was said.
- Consider whether to speak or stay silent.
With this you have the option of revisiting the conversation or just respond to what you actively heard. It is okay to revisit the conversation if you feel you need to process it more.
- Ask yourself if you are angry.
By actively listening to your spouse, practicing whether to revisit the conversation or speak now, you can eliminate being angry. All things should be done in love. That is to include effective communication.
Speaking Words of Impact
Your words have a great and lasting impact on your husband. Take a second to process your next reaction, so that you may always act in love.
Answer these questions to yourself; What did I hear? How should I respond? Is my response out of anger or from a place of love? This pause before you speak will help you say more words of impact.
Wife Step: Pause before speaking ensure your words are impactful in an encouraging and motivating way.
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Joy Lowery is from Rockford, Alabama where most of her family resides. She has two beautiful daughters: Ivy Grace (her oldest) and Marleigh Faith (her youngest). She is the oldest of two siblings. She is an Army mom and the founder of Joyful Manna podcast. Joy loves serving just to serve and not to get.
Joy takes great pleasure in sharing her testimony with many women, in hopes that it will inspire them to continue to move forward in hope. There is so much good in what seems to be all bad. She always considers it a privilege to share the good gospel of Jesus Christ from her real-life experiences.
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