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By Heather Logan

Did you know your home has a tone thermostat? It’s a setting for the tone in your home. What is the temperature you are setting for your family? 

It’s amazing as a mom how much influence you have over your home and the tone that is set each day. Have you ever walked into someone’s home and felt peace? Or maybe there was a lot of yelling and it was tense and stressful. 

It’s uncomfortable to be around people who set a tone of worry, stress and chaos. I wonder if you were to ask your kids what the tone is in your home – what would they say?

Whether you realize it or not, there is a tone you set each day for your kids and home. You get to choose what the tone will be. 

When the Tone Thermostat Isn’t Set Right

We’ve all experienced times when the tone thermostat isn’t set right. You were up all night with a crying newborn or a sick child. Maybe your own brain is unable to shut off your thoughts and worries in order to allow you the rest you need. 

So you wake up after a sleepless night, pour your coffee and sit down to enjoy a moment of peace, but it doesn’t take long for the milk to spill and fighting to begin. You are quick to realize that there is no such thing as a peaceful moment this morning and it irritates you. You lose your patience and yell, and it’s only 6:30 a.m.! 

This has been my experience far too many times. I would find myself irritated early in my day because things weren’t going as I hoped. I would tell myself that it was going to be one of those days and proceeded as if the day was just going to be bad.

I quickly categorized the whole day based on the first 30 minutes and allowed my day to run its course without resetting the tone thermostat. What I wish I would have learned early on in motherhood was that I got to make the choice for the tone. It wasn’t just up to my circumstances and mood at that moment that would determine the rest of our day. 

I can feel sorry for myself the rest of the day and choose to see all the bad that will come, or I can choose to seek God’s help in that moment to shift my perspective and expectations for the day. 

Then I can apologize to my kids for my bad attitude. I can allow it to be a teachable moment where we learn more about God’s grace and forgiveness and go on to enjoy the rest of the day together. Perspective makes all the difference, and it starts by adjusting the tone thermostat.

Resetting the Tone Thermostat in Your Home

The way you see your circumstances and what you do with what comes your way each moment will determine your day and the tone in your home. You have a lot of control in resetting the tone thermostat in your home.

If you look for the negative and focus on everything that went wrong, that is the kind of tone you will create within your home. However, if you choose to look for the good and beauty, you will realize how much you truly have to be thankful for and you will enjoy your children and your day so much more. 

Some circumstances will be very difficult but still, you get the choice of what you do with them when they come. How do you teach your children to walk through hard things? Keep in mind that you can reset the tone thermostat throughout the day to teach them how to control their emotions.

One of the verses that I am always challenged by is when Paul says in Philippians 4:6-7 NIV, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

He doesn’t tell you to just get over your struggles, but he reminds you not to let your feelings and emotions run your day. He is clear that you are not to be anxious about your circumstances but instead to pray and lift your cares to the Lord, with a thankful heart and allow God’s peace to come and guard your heart and mind. 

Adjust the Tone Thermostat Once More

The best news in all of this is that you get to choose to set the tone and you don’t have to allow your feelings and circumstances to dictate the tone thermostat of your home. You can choose to have a peaceful home even in the midst of chaos. 

Even if the day starts out with yelling and fighting, choose to turn around the atmosphere in your home to one of teaching grace, love and forgiveness. God is always ready to help you adjust the tone thermostat once more.

While there will always be frustrating things that happen each day, choose to look for the positive and lead your family in showing gratitude for your blessings. Set a tone in your home of grace, forgiveness and thankfulness to the God who is so good and gracious.

Wife Step: Pay attention to the times when the tone thermostat needs adjustment this week, and reset it as needed while asking God for help.

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