On more than one occasion, I have wasted time setting goals that I could never achieve. Could I not achieve them because I was a failure? Nope. I could not achieve them because I was expecting myself to operate with someone else’s gifting instead of my own.
Often, we set lofty goals with high hopes of making drastic changes when a new year begins. Is that the mindset you have as you enter 2022?
THE PROBLEM WITH A NEW YEAR, NEW YOU
Ladies, we are who God created us to be. We come in different sizes and shapes; we have different personalities and gifts. But for some reason, a New Year mindset causes us to want to change who we are – we want to change who God created us to be.
We see Amelia (or whoever’s name you would like to put in there), and she appears to be the best mom of littles in the world. She always has her little ducks in a row and never seems scattered. Near Year, New You. You decide you will be like Amelia.
New Year, New You. Maybe, you see Heather (once again substitute that name that keeps sticking out at you), and she is raising responsible and respectable teenagers. At the same time, you feel like your teenagers never listen, are always in some predicament, and your teenage parenting skills seem lousy compared to Heather’s. Your brain thinks you will change your name to Heather this year.
And then there is that friend, Evelyn. She loves her husband well. They always seem to be on the same page. They are loving and compassionate to one another. There appears to be an unexplainable harmony in their marriage, while your marriage feels tumultuous. And compassion? You may not have felt tenderness or extended compassion to your spouse in who knows how long. New Year, New You. You are striving to reach the marriage that Evelyn has.
While I am all for goal setting and improving myself and my relationship with my spouse and my children, there are healthier ways to do this.
Can we stop and recognize that Evelyn may have the gift of mercy while you have the gift of serving?
Your friend Heather? Have you considered her kids are full of overwhelming anxiety? Her seemingly perfect children might have nothing to do with her parenting skills. Thus, they appear perfect out of fear of failure and anxious thoughts.
Oh yes, Amelia has the gift of organization and administration. It is a God-given ability and talent. Can you give yourself permission that you may not have the gift of organization and administration?
As we enter 2022, my challenge for you is to set goals for your new year that match who God has created you to be. Reframe your focus. Instead of New Year, New You, how about New Year, Improved You?
DO YOU KNOW?
What gifts and abilities have God given you? If you don’t know, then plan to take some time this year to get to know you. Complete a personality quiz, take a spiritual gifts test, assess the activities you enjoy. Let’s match our goals to improve ourselves, not transform ourselves into someone else.
We can waste time and energy trying to recreate ourselves to be someone God didn’t create us to be. Do you need to spend some time this year getting to know yourself? If so, let’s make that your New Year, Improved You goal.
Wife Step: Spend some time thinking about how well you know yourself. We are here to help you know who you are in Christ and to help you understand how God has created your unique self. If you need, we can direct you to some personality tests, spiritual gifts tests, etc. to help you get to know yourself. We also offer monthly coaching sessions in A Wife Like Me Collective that can help you navigate becoming aware of who you are in Christ.
Karen lives in Madison, Alabama with her husband and three children. Karen has served as Preschool and Children’s Pastor and has been involved in women’s ministry for many years leading small groups, making hospital visits, organizing retreats, and encouraging the hearts of women. Karen now blogs at Glimpses of Faith and Struggles. What started out as a way to communicate medical facts has become a place where Karen uses life experiences to encourage others in their life journey. When she’s not busy caring for her family or writing, you might find her cooking or crafting.
Get all of our freebies and receive weekly wisdom, here: https://awifelikeme.com/subscribe-to-…
Grab our book, Dear Wife, here: https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Wife-Invi…
Listen to the A Wife Like Me Podcast, here.