How Your Friends Can Hurt Your Marriage

We’ve all heard the saying, choose your friends wisely.  

If you’re a parent, you’ve likely had conversations with your children about the importance of friend choices. You’ve maybe even hinted that certain friends should or should not be in their inner circle of friends.  

In my effort to raise my son and daughter into adulthood, this was a common conversation in our home.  

The same principles we apply to our children’s friends can be used in our own relationships.  

Friendships matter because we become like those we spend time with. If we become like those we spend time with, then friendships ultimately affect our marriage.

If we desire stronger marriages, we must evaluate whether our friendships are hurting our marriage.

Here are seven questions to help determine if your girlfriend is hurting your marriage.

1.    Does your friend complain a lot? She may not complain about her marriage, she may not even be married, but is she dissatisfied     and offering negative statements on a regular basis?  
2.    Is your friend envious?  Does there seem to be a feeling of competition?
3.    Does your friend cause you to feel bad about yourself?
4.    Do you see your friend manipulating situations for her benefit?
5.    Is your friend sneaky?  Do you see her trying to hide information so that others won’t find out?
6.    Is your friend unwilling to hear your feedback or wisdom?
7.    Does your friend put down or make fun of her husband?

Unfortunately, if you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, please pray about how God wants you to move forward in this relationship. It is difficult to not take on the qualities of a friend – good or bad.

In Scripture, we find many nuggets of wisdom about choosing our friends wisely.  A favorite is found in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

Sisters, it doesn’t matter how fun your friend is.  How often she makes you laugh is not a measuring stick for whether she hurts your marriage.  Let’s be diligent about using the correct measuring stick for our selection of our innermost circle of friends.  We do not want to comprise our marriage with bad company.

Wife Step:  Take inventory of your friends.  Are you absorbing the fruits of the spirit or are you absorbing negativity, enviousness, unsupportive attitudes, manipulation, and deceitfulness?  If needed, begin to spend less time with some friends and be diligent about spending more time with other friends.

Karen lives in Madison, Alabama with her husband and three children. Karen has served as Preschool and Children’s Pastor and has been involved in women’s ministry for many years leading small groups, making hospital visits, organizing retreats, and encouraging the hearts of women. Karen now blogs at Glimpses of Faith and Struggles.  What started out as a way to communicate medical facts has become a place where Karen uses life experiences to encourage others in their life journey.  When she’s not busy caring for her family or writing, you might find her cooking or crafting.