By Betty Predmore
Do you need to have a money talk with your husband? This may feel daunting to you, but it’s definitely do-able. Here are some tips to help you have this talk with grace.
A Money Talk with My Husband
Nothing can wreck a perfectly good day like discussing finances with your spouse. Attitudes can get heated, voices can get loud, but really…does anything get accomplished?
I have learned over the years that so much of what we think about our finances is based on our upbringing. Growing up with a single mom who had to pinch and scrape, I learned the value of a dollar. I also learned how to exist very frugally.
My husband, on the other hand, grew up in a different environment. His parents, while not wealthy, did not have to struggle for the essentials. Because of this, he tends to be a little more generous in his spending.
I am sure many of you know exactly what I am talking about. While you may be the thrifty one, or you might be more generous, you have probably experienced several money conversations with your spouse. And, perhaps they didn’t go so well.
How to Have a Money Talk with Your Husband
So how do we find middle ground when it comes to our finances? How do you have a money talk with your husband in a way that is civil, respectful and mindful not only of his shortcomings, but yours as well? Here are my tips for you:
- Make your budget together.
Don’t have only one person handle all the finances. This leads to one spouse feeling overwhelmed while the other spouse can drift, not really aware of the monthly expenses and spending.
- Listen as well as you speak.
When discussing finances, especially different opinions on spending, we can tend to want our side heard. The key is to be heard while also listening to your husband. Only when you truly understand your spouse’s thoughts on spending can you come to reasonable compromises that work for both of you.
- Show grace.
If you are the saver and he is the spender, he is going to buy things that upset you. Learning to respond with grace while stating your point goes a long way in getting him to understand why you think that expenditure was unnecessary.
- Dream together.
What are some of the things you dream of for your future? Set short-term and long-term goals, and hold each other accountable to them. Work as a team and take your time. “Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.” (Proverbs 13:11 ESV)
Financial situations are one of the leading problems in marriages today. If we want to make our marriages work, we have to learn to communicate our thoughts to our husbands respectfully, gracefully and logically.
You have to learn the “why” behind your spouse’s philosophy on money. Then find the middle ground that works for both of you. Clear communication is the key to having a money talk with your husband.
Wife Step: If finances are an issue in your marriage, spend some time in prayer about how to approach your husband respectfully and gracefully to discuss your concerns.
Betty Predmore is an author, speaker, blogger, and ministry leader. Betty is the Founding Director of two community faith-based ministries. Mom-Sense helps women overcome life struggles through small group classes with biblical curriculum, individual counseling, bibles studies, and other areas of support. The Imperial Valley Coalition for Life is a pro-life organization that values the sanctity of life and encourages women to choose life by offering various means of support throughout pregnancy and infancy. Of all her roles in life, Betty is most honored to be wife to Jim and mama to a brood of 7, which includes biological and adopted children.
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