All Wives

Discovering Your Dreams And Improving Your Marriage – Tracy Herbener

January 18, 2019

As little girls, we dream of meeting our prince charming, getting married, having children, getting the home with the white picket fence and living happily ever after.  So, what happens? Real life happens.


We create a home, maybe have children, and before you know it you and your husband never see each other.  You’re both working hard – inside and outside the home. You’re running from activity to activity. And you’re tired. Really tired. You want to have quality time with your husband but you haven’t even had time for yourself.


Sometimes, the best thing we can do for our marriage is done outside of our marriage and inside of us.


For many years I had a longing that there had to be something more. I felt unfulfilled and didn’t know why. I knew and loved Jesus but struggled to feel fully alive.  Somewhere along the way I had given up on my dreams – or maybe never actually realized dreams were inside my heart. I knew I needed to pursue where God was leading me.


Soul care requires cultivating the seeds God has planted within our hearts. Because God asks us to die to our sin, not our dreams.


What are you doing for yourself and your dream? Discovering what God wants you to do is scary and exciting all at the same time.  


Here are three steps to discovering your dreams:


  1. Pray. Ask God to help you more fully discover what He has already planted in you and what He might be asking you to do with it. It doesn’t have to be ‘big’. Maybe it’s a love of photography you left back in 1995. Maybe it’s the desire to learn something you’ve brushed off as not important. Maybe it’s that trip you’ve never given yourself permission to take. Whatever it is, let God speak to you and allow yourself to hear what He has to say.


  1. Take a first step. Pursue the dream that God has placed in your heart. It doesn’t matter what the dream is, take small steps to fulfill those God given dreams. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have a lot of time, just use the time you do have, even if it is ten minutes.


  1. Find your encouragers. Surround yourself with women who value marriage and will be an encouragement to you, your marriage, and your dreams. Tell your friends about the dream God is asking you to step into and allow yourself to get excited.


Don’t give up on the dreams that God has placed in your heart.  Be obedient to what God is telling you He wants you to do. You will see as you take each step you become closer to God and become more fulfilled.  Making your dreams a part of your marriage increases marital satisfaction. Happy dreaming, friend.


Wife Step: Take some time and start to discover your God given dream.   When you discover it take one step towards it, no matter how small.

Tracy is married to the love of her life and best friend, Darrin. Together they have two beautiful children, Victoria and Edward and two puppies, Tripp and Zoey. She loves spending time at the beach, reading, and a great cup of coffee!

Tracy is passionate about helping women discover their God-given identity and unleashing their influence.  Visit her blog at and find her on Instagram, Facebook , Pinterest or Twitter.

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