A Simple Way to Maximize Moments and Create Connection
in Your Marriage
Do you wish you had more time for just you and your husband? Sure, it’s great to share the kid’s games and school activities. It’s great to spend an evening with other couples. You may be grateful your husband goes to church and you share in a Sunday morning together.
But, do you wish you had more one-on-one, quality time with your husband? Easy time where you could both share the things on your mind? If so, I’ve discovered one of the best times.
Ladies, let me introduce bathroom talk to you.
“Bathroom talk” is what parents often describe to children as inappropriate words. “We don’t say that. That’s bathroom talk.” But, there’s another kind of “bathroom talk” that can be done between spouses and it’s super effective. Following is the skinny on it.
Bathroom Talk is Relaxed
Where’s the one place you can go and close the door and tell your kids, “I’ll be out in a minute. I’m in the bathroom.” When you and hubby are in the bathroom showering, getting dressed, or brushing your teeth, unless you have teeny tots, you get to be alone together. Easy peasy conversation gets to happen. “What do you have going on today?” “How can I be praying for you?” “You look nice in that shirt.” “I’ve always loved your hair.”
Hint: Use this time to encourage and compliment.
Bathroom Talk Doesn’t Require Conversation
If you haven’t been getting dressed at the same time as your hubby, then he may wonder at your presence in his “morning” space. Rather than pop into the bathroom and announce, “I decided this would be a good time for us to talk,” (which may freak him out) ease into your comments. Read your man. If he doesn’t want to chat, then take his cue and simply share the time getting ready together. Bonding happens even in silence. It says, I see you. I care. I want to be near you. You’re a part of my morning.
What if your morning schedules don’t jive together? Try for the evenings. Does this take a little effort? Yes. You may not want to wake up at the same time as your husband. You may not want to get ready for bed when he does. But, you do want time with him, right? Time together is when the bond of love has the opportunity to grow.
Hint: Christians find comfort in the knowledge that Jesus is with us, even though we may not hear His audible voice. Our presence with our spouse can comfort our husband. If he doesn’t want to chat, use the time together to pray for him. If the bathroom time doesn’t work, prayerfully think of another time that does.
Looking for practical, daily ways to add more intentional, one-on-one time with your husband? Grab your copy of Dear Wife: 10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection with Your Husband, here.
- Arrange a few days each week to be with your husband in the relaxed environment of the bathroom; away from the kids and world.
- Ask non-demanding, caring questions such as, “What do you have going on today?”
- Use the time to pray for your husband if he doesn’t want to visit. God can use your prayerful presence to build connection to your husband.
- Bonus: Build connection with your husband by stepping into the shower with him with the simple explanation, “I love you.”
Debbie Taylor Williams, founder of Hill Country Ministries, a non-profit 501© 3 dedicated to spreading God’s Word and love, is a sought out national Christian speaker and author. Best known as a passionate Biblical expositor, Debbie uses humor and practical illustrations to communicate spiritual truths to women of all ages and walks of life. She has written 7 books and produced numerous video driven Bible studies, including The Plan A Mom In a Plan B World, The Plan A Woman In a Plan B World, Pray With Purpose, Live With Passion; Prayers of My Heart; If God Is In Control, Why Do I Have A Headache?; If God Is In Control, Why Am I A Basket Case, and Discovering His Passion.