Happiness and Your Marriage

Happiness has become one of those awkward words in the Christian world. If you’re unfamiliar with this concept, there is this tension with enjoying happiness and experiencing joy that comes from the Lord. I’ve struggled wanting to make sure I’m pursuing joy rather than happiness. But what I didn’t know is that by definition, joy is a “feeling of happiness.” 

What a relief if you’ve wrestled with this like I have!

Happiness is not wrong when it is found in Christ. He wants us to be happy as we seek Him and His good plan for our lives. He also wants us to find happiness in becoming more like Him. 

So, when I think of my marriage, I wonder, how do happiness and marriage hold hands? How do we seek pure, unadulterated joy inside the most difficult and important relationship in our lives aside from the one we have with Jesus?

Praise God, the Bible tells us exactly how to happy. (Can happy be a verb today? Ok thanks.)

“Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!” Psalm 144:15 (NKJV) The most important ingredient of happiness inside marriage is that God is the very center. He can’t be a few inches to the left or the right of the bullseye, He has to be the bullseye. Our faith in God is always number one source for our happiness.

When Christ is the foundation, our relationships flourish. Always.

Fun is another key ingredient. It’s so easy to forget that marriage can be fun! It can’t be all work and no play. We have to make time to just hang out with our husbands and allow ourselves to be silly and free.

I am guilty of treating my marriage like a job. Have I checked the boxes and achieved the goals? Ok great, that means my marriage is fine!

NO.

You most likely fell in love with your husband by having a ball on dates and ignoring the stress. I know I did. And when I am intentional about removing distractions to simply dance in the kitchen or go to a movie or make a fort in the living room, my marriage is a happy one.

There is no secret formula to a happy marriage, but there is prayer and intentionality and The Holy Spirit to guide us. 

So often in life, happiness is right in front of us and the enemy is doing his best to blind us from it. Don’t miss the happiness that already exists inside your marriage, and don’t miss chances to enhance the happiness.

Wife Step: Make a “happiness jar” and write down a daily “happy” from your marriage. Go back each month and read them with each other on a date night!

Kaitlin is a newlywed striving to be a strong half of a Kingdom team with her hunk of a husband. She is a lover of words, good coffee, and exploring new cities. Her favorite places include airports, hotel rooms, and bookstores and she has yet to meet a stranger she doesn’t like. Kaitlin is addicted to shopping, yoga, and brunch and couldn’t make it a single day without her dream-supporting family and best friends. She hopes everyone who meets her sees Jesus in her eyes and feels a little lighter when they leave her presence. You can say hi to Kaitlin on social media at @kchaprogers on Instagram and Twitter, @kaitlinchappellrogers on Facebook, or on her website at kaitlinchappell.com!