By Stacey Morgan
I said my last private goodbye to my husband, a NASA astronaut, about twelve hours before he climbed into his rocket with his two crewmates and blasted into outer space. While the launch was successful, in that last private moment, while we held each other’s hands, we didn’t yet know what the outcome would be. Yet as we looked into each other’s eyes, wet with tears, we were both able to say to each other with confidence, “No matter what happens, I am proud of you. No regrets. Now let’s go have an adventure.”
The Life Lessons As A Wife
The next nine months, while he was floating in space and my feet were planted firmly on the ground, was an adventure for both of us. It was a unique season, full of an equal number of opportunities and challenges. Some days were amazingly surreal, like the days I watched my husband perform a space walk. Some were a slog, like the days I had to manage home repairs and kids’ homework all on my own. It was a season of growth for both of us, not only as a couple, but also as individuals, as we put into practice the simple habits we’d honed over decades of challenges, risks, and adventure. These life lessons aren’t rocket science, but they are life and relationship changing. Give them a try and then buckle up as your life rockets into a higher orbit of depth and purpose.
1. Always say “I love you”
Space exploration is a risky business. Even on Earth, spaceflight training, which includes activities such as flying jets and scuba diving, is dangerous. But even if you aren’t training for a trip to the moon, statistically, just driving on a highway on your way to the mall is a high-risk event. If something happened to you or your loved one today, what would your last words to them have been? As often as you can, tell the people you care about that you love them. You’ll never regret saying goodbye each day with a big hug and a heartfelt “I love you.”
2. Care for your friends
Life is more fun and far more meaningful with friends—especially when your spouse is orbiting the planet in a spaceship traveling at 17,500 mph. Yet we rarely spend dedicated time thinking about how to strengthen and grow our friendships. Imagine how much healthier our friendships would be if we spent as much time nurturing them as we do our pets, our homes, or our children. We are created to live in community—not just with our immediate family, but with an extended circle of friends and neighbors. Care for your friendships with the same intentionality you give to binge-watching your favorite shows and watch how your relationships flourish and how much richer your life becomes.
3. Honesty is the best policy
When someone calls you from space, you have to pick up the phone. How can you not? But what if it’s not a good time? Which it often wasn’t, with four kids who needed both homework help and dinner served simultaneously. It wasn’t easy, but I had to be honest. A phone call at 5 p.m., even from space, was not going to work for us. Only by being honest were we able to clearly assess the situation, reset our expectations, and then find a new solution. Tell the truth, in love and with kindness, when things aren’t working. Then work together as a team to create a solution that works for everyone.
4. Find the silver lining
It’s not easy single-parenting when your spouse is in space. When days were tough, it was easy to wallow in my own personal pity party. But in every hard season I’ve found myself in, there’s always been a silver lining, should I choose to look for it. Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, we need to choose to focus on what we do. While it may not make our troubles disappear, that silver lining is often the emotional, spiritual, or physical lift we need in order to regain some perspective and make it through another day.
5. Adventure is a choice
Contrary to what we see in the movies, lives of adventure happen not only to people like astronauts or jungle explorers. They are created by people just like you and me who are willing to take some risks and make the most of the opportunities that come their way. But like astronauts, all adventurers are people who are willing to be uncomfortable, to make sacrifices, and to go against the norm. Want more adventure in your life? Take a risk. Talk to that stranger. Learn that new skill. Say yes even though you are scared. This is how adventures begin.
Stacey Morgan is always ready with a funny or thoughtful story from her own life, whether it be holding down the home front during her husband’s Special Forces military deployments, carpooling, working for the Smithsonian, skydiving, teaching her teens to drive, taking roller-skating lessons, or watching as her husband blasts into outer space. A women’s ministry leader for over fifteen years, Stacey is an executive leadership coach for MOPS International. She and her husband, Army colonel and NASA astronaut Drew Morgan, have four children.
Stacey’s book, The Astronaut’s Wife, releases in February from Tyndale Momentum.
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